How to Ask a Girl Out With a Letter

Asking a girl to go out with you can be a nerve wracking process. You worry about being rejected or embarrassed and might not be sure of what to say. It takes a certain amount of confidence in yourself and knowledge about the girl you are interested in to successfully ask her out. While an in-person request, even if difficult, is always best, you might feel more comfortable making your request in a letter. Remember, however, you will ultimately have to talk with the girl in person--especially if she says yes to going out!

Learn what you can about the girl's interests, like and dislikes before writing your letter. Chances are you have talked to her at school or while hanging out as friends. If you have never spoken with her ask her friends if she has a favorite type of food or movie. You can use this information in your letter to ask her out on a date she is more likely to be interested in and enjoy. Plus, she'll appreciate you took the time to learn a little about her beforehand.

Write on actual stationary paper, not an email or a text message. A handwritten letter on stationary is not only more personal, but it is more romantic and thoughtful.

Keep your letter specific. Instead of asking, "Would you like to go out with me sometime?" ask if she would like to go with you to a movie on Friday night at 8:00. Let her know that you are interested in getting to know her better and would like to spend more time with her if she is also interested. You can mention a few of her qualities that you find attractive, but your letter is not the time to express all your feelings. You'll have time for that on your date.

Provide an opportunity for her to respond. The tricky thing about asking a girl out in a letter is that you likely won't be there when she reads it. Make certain she knows how to get in touch with you so she can respond. You might think it best if she writes a letter to you in response, and she certainly can, but remember eventually the two of you will be going out in person. Give her your phone number in the letter and start the process of talking to her directly as soon as possible.

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Things You Will Need

  • Stationary


  • Add a touch of humor to your letter by acknowledging your shyness and assuring the girl that if she says yes you will have plenty to say on your date.


  • Rejection is a normal part of the dating process. If the girl says no to going out with you don't assume there is anything wrong with you or your offer. The timing might just not be right for her or she does not share the same interest in you and does not want to lead you on.

About the Author

Erika Sanders has been writing since 1997. She teaches writing at the Washington State Reformatory and edits the monthly newsletter for the Collaborative on Health and the Environment, a national nonprofit organization. She received her Master of Fine Arts in fiction from the Solstice Program at Pine Manor College in Boston.

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