Start with subtlety. Some guys respond best when they are dropped hints, rather than feeling like they are being nagged. If you love flowers, walk up to them on your next trip to the grocery together, take a big whiff and say, "Gee, I love flowers. They make me so happy." Subtle comments don't always work, but they're worth a try before moving on to more involved strategies.
Smother him with kindness. If he's not understanding your needs, use the opposite logic and become more pleasant. When your needs aren't met, frustration likely builds up in the relationship. Less tension between you might cause him to feel more open to understanding your point of view.
Treat him the way you want to be treated. Whatever your need, give this to your partner. If you need more help around the house, ask him where he needs help in his own life and volunteer your time. If you just want him to care about your problems, then ask him about his worries and truly listen to what he says in return. Good-hearted guys want to please you, so lead by example and show him you understand his needs.
Be upfront. Sometimes being subtle isn't enough to get your point across. At times, it's best to be straight-forward with your partner. What strategy you use is dependent upon both of your personalities and your history. Guys are typically wired to want the facts and get down to business, so just tell him you love him and list out what you would like to change. Explain the logic behind your requests so he better understands where you're coming from.
Visit a counselor together. When needs go unmet for long periods of time, resentment can build up. What starts as a small problem can grow many layers and lead to unnecessary breakups. If you're fighting more with your partner or becoming increasingly distant, suggest that you see a counselor together and get on the right track.
- Think of a comparison to something your boyfriend needs when trying to have him understand yours.
- Don't approach your boyfriend about issues when he seems stressed or overwhelmed. Wait until he seems relaxed and receptive.