How Can I Avoid Being Paranoid in a Relationship?

Do not let insecurity destroy your relationship.Do not let insecurity destroy your relationship.

Paranoia can be one of the most dangerous emotions to enter a relationship. If someone is racked with feelings of intense insecurity in a relationship, it can lead to tension, suspicion, arguments, resentment and all sorts of complicated problems. If you often feel serious paranoia in your relationship (such as a constant fear your partner will cheat or leave you), it is important to take control of the situation immediately.

Identify the real problem. Paranoid feelings often are not based in reality, but are the result of delusion or an overactive imagination. Determine what is causing you to distrust your partner, because it might not be anything he is actually doing. The root cause can be anything from childhood neglect or being cheated on in a previous relationship. The more aware you are of the underlying issue, the easier it can be for you to handle your paranoia.

Work on your self-esteem. Low self-confidence can contribute to paranoia in a relationship. If you do not feel good about yourself, you may think your partner doesn't feel good about you either. These feelings may lead you to believe that she is dissatisfied in the relationship, and therefore looking for new suitors and a way out. Cultivate your feelings of self-worth by working on yourself. Exercise regularly. Find your passion, whether it is within your career or a new hobby. The more you love yourself, the less doubt and paranoia you will feel.

Talk with your partner. Communication is essential for any functional and happy relationship. If you do not honestly express your feelings to your partner, it could cause you to act out and be cold, distant, irrational or just plain argumentative (which may push him away from you). Openly discuss with your partner your biggest fears, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable or vulnerable. Try to overcome these feelings together instead of on your own.

Go with the flow. Some people become paranoid in relationships out of the obsessive fear that something is going to go wrong. You can't always control the "outcome" of a relationship -- it is a two-sided situation, after all. Relax and try to make the best of your relationship. Stop being pushy and focusing on what can and may go wrong. Instead, enjoy what you have and see where it leads you.

Stop trying to be telepathic. Paranoia results when one person thinks he automatically knows the thoughts of another, even if the person hasn't said a thing. Instead of assuming you know someone's feelings, ask her. Don't anticipate a person's emotions and feelings; you probably wouldn't like it if someone did that to you.

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  • When you notice paranoid feelings creeping in, remember positive things and smile. Chances are you may just forget what upset you in the first place.

About the Author

Lars Tramilton has been writing professionally since 2007. His work has appeared in a variety of online publications, including CareerWorkstation. Tramilton received a bachelor's degree with a focus on elementary education from Kean University.

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