How to Carry a Romantic Conversation

Romantic conversations look so easy in Hollywood movies; however, in real life no one has a script and, since romantic conversations often begin spontaneously, nervousness can freeze the conversation before it has a chance to fully develop. You can learn how to carry on a romantic conversation, without freezing up, by remembering to relax, listen, keep things positive, and focus on your girlfriend's achievements and beauty.

Talk about positive things, such as shared musical tastes, which are not related to physical intimacy. Nothing kills a romantic conversation more quickly than if you appear you are just trying to get your partner into bed.

Focus most of the conversation on your girlfriend's interests, abilities and achievements. This will show you are interested in what she enjoys and what she likes talking about and that you are not self-absorbed.

Answer any question directly. If you give vague, evasive answers, you may seem untrustworthy or, at the least, lacking confidence.

Listen carefully when your girlfriend is speaking. If you let your mind wander, it will show.

Maintain appropriate eye contact throughout the romantic conversation. Gaze into your girlfriend's eyes enough to show you are listening, but not so much that she feels stared at.

Tell your girlfriend what you especially love about her personality. If she is vibrant, smart and funny, tell her so. Don’t just say she has a great personality—be specific.

Tell your girlfriend that she is beautiful on the inside and out. Just because you know she is beautiful doesn't mean she knows it. Everyone likes to be told they are attractive.

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  • Light humor is often appropriate for romantic conversations--this is a romance, not a funeral. The conversation should not be grimly serious.
  • Brush your teeth, use mouthwash, or eat a breath mint before starting a romantic conversation. Bad breath distracts from the beautiful message you want to convey.
  • Light touching is fine to accentuate a point. It is fine to touch her hair when you tell her she has beautiful hair. Just don’t touch excessively (unless, of course, she seems to be really open to that).


  • Don't put on a fake persona--be yourself. Most people can sense when someone is being less than genuine.
  • Avoid fidgeting with your clothing, picking at your fingernails, or scratching your head--these actions are distracting and may make you appear too nervous or not genuinely interested in the conversation.
  • Don’t brag during romantic conversations. You can display confidence without bragging. Quiet confidence is almost always more attractive than boisterous bragging.
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