How to Be Charming on a First Date

Charm your date with a romantic walk along the beach.Charm your date with a romantic walk along the beach.

If you have secured a date with someone new, you'll want to put your best foot forward on that first date in order to demonstrate your value. Being charming plays a big role in that. However, the key to being truly charming is to simply be yourself. Of course, you can give yourself an edge by dressing right, making sure you're relaxed and generally doing whatever it takes to feel confident and comfortable.

Step 1

Think of the event as less of a date and more as a fun night out. If you approach the date with the goal of trying to impress her, she is going to notice and sense desperation. Rather, think in practical terms; you are going to have a drink with someone you want to get to know. She may end up dating you or you may end up making a friend. Either way, focus on having fun just as you would on your nights out with your friends. This will make you more calm and laid back, which will make your natural charm come through.

Step 2

Show some mystery. Don't tell your date every single tidbit of information about yourself. If he knows a few things about you, but still wonders what else there is to learn, then he will likely find you intriguing. Tell him a few key, positive things about yourself but save most of your childhood stories, adolescent awards, crazy family members and college dorm antics for later.

Step 3

Smile and laugh. Be positive. Don't talk about how you hate your job or that your roommates are a drag; the odds are your date gets annoyed with her job from time to time and her roommates probably frustrate her, too. Positivity is attractive.

Step 4

Compliment him a little bit, but don't heap it on because you can make him feel awkward and uncomfortable. Rather, just give him one unique, sincere compliment that leaves him wanting more compliments. Tell him something specific, such as "that red shirt is a really nice color on you," or "you smell absolutely wonderful."

Step 5

Ask questions about your date's life, job, and hobbies, then take the time to listen to her answers. If you give her a chance to talk about herself and actively listen by rephrasing her answers and maintaining eye contact, you will make her feel valued and important, which can lead to a second date.

Step 6

Be yourself. Your date can probably smell phoniness a mile away, so don't agree with things you wouldn't otherwise agree with and don't conform to who you feel your date wants you to be.

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About the Author

Sam Grover began writing in 2005, also having worked as a behavior therapist and teacher. His work has appeared in New Zealand publications "Critic" and "Logic," where he covered political and educational issues. Grover graduated from the University of Otago with a Bachelor of Arts in history.

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