How to Get Closer to a Guy

Making the decision to get closer to a guy can be difficult and may take serious effort to accomplish. This is because past hurts or current fears may hinder you from giving a dedicated attempt. Additional issues such as newness to the dating scene or personal insecurities can further complicate your situation. Learn to open up willingly, without causing your guy extra grief. Failing to create a foundation of openness can lead to relationship disaster.

Step 1

Let go of your emotional baggage. While it may be hard to admit that you have issues, doing so makes it easier to make a successful connection with your new guy. According to, a new relationship can benefit from your willingness to let go of grudges. This is because holding on to past hurts can make it harder for you to let another guy into your heart. This behavior can make your new guy feel as if you’re taking out your frustrations on him. Talking through issues with a close friend can help you find clarity and closure.

Step 2

Engage in deeper levels of communication. While casual banter about current events may work when you’re dealing with associates, you’ll need to step your conversations when trying to get closer to a guy. Show him that you’re more than just a pretty face by engaging him with interesting dialogue. This includes sharing details about significant life events, while encouraging him to do the same.

Step 3

Show genuine interest in him. According to the University of Texas Counseling and Mental Health Center, expressing interest in your guy during the beginning phases of your relationship can help you build a solid foundation. Understand that when a guy feels valued, he’s more likely to invest energy into his relationship. This makes him more willing to let down his guard, allowing for deeper levels of communication. Constructive actions such as asking him questions about his childhood or making it a point to celebrate his birthday can lead to enhanced interactions.

Step 4

Find common ground with him. Sometimes getting closer with a guy involves tapping into existing connections. Using what you already have allows you to spend quality time together, which builds camaraderie. Examples include accompanying him to the skate park if you’re both avid skaters, or forming a band together if you both enjoy performing music.

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  • Trying new activities together can help you become closer to each other. It can also encourage you to maintain your sense of adventure.

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