How to Have Confidence when Dating

For a healthy romantic life, confidence is essential.For a healthy romantic life, confidence is essential.

Being out on the dating scene can be a vulnerable experience for anyone. After all, with dating you are, in some ways, putting yourself all out there and making yourself susceptible to rejection and feeling hurt. However, the only way to succeed in dating and romance is by having a strong self image and confidence. Simply dating someone will not give you confidence. You first must gain the confidence yourself in order to proceed in a healthy manner.

Step 1

Identify your weak points. To be confident in dating, it is vital to gain awareness of your weaknesses. Do not be afraid of brutal honesty. Confront the issues that you have that prevent you from feeling entirely comfortable with who you are. Identify whether you are capable of changing those issues. If it is something that you can change, take action. If it isn't, realize that everyone has flaws and that you have to work with what you have. No one is perfect, and no one feels great about himself 100 percent of the time.

Step 2

Avoid negativity. Stay away from the negative influences in your life, such as overly critical friends and family members. Being around these types of individuals will only hurt your confidence or keep you back, when instead you should be plowing ahead.

Step 3

Exploit your strong points. Accentuate what is positive about you. Acknowledge your talents and biggest accomplishments in life. Whether you learned a foreign language all on your own or are a talented violinist, concentrate on the positive things about yourself. The better you feel about yourself and what you can do, the more apparent that will be to others, including those that you are interested in dating.

Step 4

Be prepared. Do not jump into the dating world prematurely. Make sure that you have no hesitation or doubts as to whether you are ready to date someone. The more motivation and commitment that you have, the higher your self confidence and assurance will be.

Step 5

Undergo an attitude overhaul. If you have spent too much of your life wallowing in misery due to low self esteem, try to change your outlook. Look at the big picture and learn how to appreciate the small things in life that give you joy, whether it is enjoying a gathering with your closest friends or going for a walk on a bright spring day.

Step 6

Be selective. This doesn't mean that you only need to date Rhodes scholars or supermodels. But it does mean that you don't have to date anyone in your immediate vicinity that speaks to you. Have confidence in yourself by identifying what you want out of dating and seeking someone with the appropriate traits.

Step 7

Set some goals. Put together a list of goals that you would like to accomplish. Start with small goals and then gradually set larger ones. A first goal can be, for example, having the confidence to approach a person in whom you are interested. Another possible goal can be talking and having a relaxed and engaging conversation with that same person. Dating the right way and with confidence can be a slow process.

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About the Author

Lars Tramilton has been writing professionally since 2007. His work has appeared in a variety of online publications, including CareerWorkstation. Tramilton received a bachelor's degree with a focus on elementary education from Kean University.

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