How to Get the Confidence to Talk to Your Crush

Don't let lack of confidence keep you from a potential relationship.Don't let lack of confidence keep you from a potential relationship.

When you have a crush on someone, it feels like talking to that person is the most difficult thing on earth. Yet, you can't get anywhere if you don't. It's even more important to talk to him or her before someone else does, or before he or she loses any possible interest in you. Some people may tell you to just walk up and "go for it," but it's important to boost your confidence before you do so.

Step 1

Groom yourself. Taking care of your physical appearance just seems to boost confidence. Before you approach your crush, or if you know you will be seeing him or her around, make sure you look as good as you can. Take care of your personal hygiene, wear nice, fitting, attractive clothes and shoes, comb or style your hair, and put on a nice perfume or cologne, or at least use a good deodorant. Don't worry about what looks good to anyone else. Do what feels good to you, and your confidence will soar.

Step 2

Get comfortable with rejection. You must be comfortable with rejection if you want to talk to your crush confidently. He or she may reject you for one of many reasons. You may not be his or her physical type, or he or she may already have a significant other. If you worry about rejection, your confidence will falter. Keep your expectations simple, assume the worst and hope for the best, and your initial encounter, whether successful or not, will go smoothly.

Step 3

Find out things you have in common. If you want to talk to your crush and not make a fool of yourself, you have to have an idea of what kinds of things will be appealing to him or her. Observe your crush for a few days and see what he or she seems to like. That will form the basis of your initial conversation. You can break the ice by starting with a common interest that you both share, before you begin asking him or her more penetrating questions.

Step 4

Practice. To gain confidence in any aspect of your life, you need practice. Talking to a crush is no different. You may be lacking confidence at the prospect of talking to your crush because you feel awkward around strangers, or around people of a certain sex. Whatever the case may be, set up low-stakes situations that are similar to the ones involving your crush, and talk to those people casually. With time and practice, you will have developed the confidence you need to talk to your crush.

Step 5

Start small. Sometimes we forget that our crushes are also humans and that we do not have to figure out an entire conversation in advance before we begin talking. Aim to introduce yourself to your crush in passing several times, before you hope to have a lengthy conversation. This way, he or she knows who you are, and you both can start feeling comfortable around each other. So, the next few times you meet, say hi and nothing more. With a little time, your confidence level around your crush will have increased, and you will be able to talk to this person for longer periods.

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About the Author

Chika Nwaka started writing professionally in 2010. She writes for eHow and specializes in education and fashion-related topics. She earned a Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of California-Los Angeles and is pursuing a Ph.D. in English literature from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

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