How to Convince a Girl to Date You

Guys attract girls to date them with certain qualities.Guys attract girls to date them with certain qualities.

An article poses the question, "Is Your Guy Undateable?" while a slew of magazines offer advice to girls and women about the kind of guy they should or shouldn't date. Depending on the type of magazine, advice will have to do with anything from looks to money as qualifying factors, and depending on what kind of girl a guy wants, these things may or may not matter. In any case, there's one thing that a guy can always use to convince a girl to date him.

Know yourself before trying to convince a girl to date you.

Step 1

Know who you are and your life purpose, first and foremost, to convince a girl to date you. An online article on GOOD has revealed information about a social psychological and personality science study that confirms people are attracted to people who have discovered their purpose in life.

Focus on yourself.

Step 2

Get moving and taking action steps in relation to your life's purpose. While you're busy working on yourself, you're bound to attract the attention of a girl, and in turn your actions alone will convince that girl to date you before you even have to say anything.

Send her an invitation where she can see some of your talents.

Step 3

Provide opportunities where she can see you working with a purpose. For example, you might send her an invitation to see you perform at a music show or to an exhibit where your work is displayed. Don't make it a date, just a general invitation that you'd give to any associate of yours.

Ask her out when you're sure she's seen your purpose and can identify what it is.

Step 4

Ask her out when you're confident that she has seen you walking out your purpose and can easily identify what it is. If she agrees, you're started on the path to dating success. If she says no, ask her why and take it as constructive criticism; apply that constructive criticism and try again after about a month or so. If she says no a second time, focus your energy elsewhere, because a girl won't say no more than once to a guy that she's interested in.

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Things You Will Need

  • Definiteness of purpose in action
  • Confidence


  • Make sure you've actually discovered your purpose in life, whether it be long-term or short-term, and not one that you think will impress the girl. For example, a short-term purpose might be to graduate college with a 4.0 GPA and at least one leadership role in an extracurricular activity. Don't cut class all the time and try to join a club that you're not interested in just because you've heard the girl you want to date likes bad boys in that particular club.


  • Never try to be someone else, because if you do date the girl, you'll have to keep the act up. So just know you and be confident in who you are before seeking to get someone else to.

About the Author

Tandeace Hairston's articles appear in relationship and family publications. She's been named "Best Writer" by the National Association of Black Journalists, is founder and president of HeartShape Relationship Advocacy, Inc. and is publishing her first book on healthy relationships in 2012. Hairston holds a Bachelor of Arts in journalism from Temple University and a Master of Arts in Christian counseling from Jacksonville Theological Seminary.

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