How to Date a Difficult Man

We can’t control who we fall in love with.
Learn how to handle difficult men.Learn how to handle difficult men.
Try as we might, romantic feelings still creep up on us even when we’re fighting them tooth and nail. If you find yourself in a relationship with a man who’s less than easygoing, master the art of dealing with him in order to ultimately have the relationship you want.

Step 1

Decide if the difficulty is worth it.
You may feel invigorated by the challenge of dating someone who can be difficult at times. You may also feel burdened and brought down by your man. You’ll need to weigh both sides and determine if the relationship is worth working through.

Step 2

Speak up for yourself.
Just because he’s difficult doesn’t mean that you have to be passive and deny your own feelings or viewpoints. Whether you’re having a full-on argument or just a friendly debate, don’t back down if you feel strongly about something.

Step 3

Refuse to tolerate partial relationships.
If your man wants to take a step back and casually date or be friends after you’ve been dating for a long time, or he suggests that you should have an open relationship, don’t simply agree because you’re afraid of losing him. Unless you’re completely okay with a major change in your relationship, don’t sacrifice your own needs. It’s not often that relationships like this work out in the end, so try to not hang onto the hope and in the process compromise yourself.

Step 4

Fight the urge to cater to his every need.
Doting on a man who isn’t nearly as attentive towards you won’t make him fall in love with you. Instead, he may start taking you for granted.

Step 5

Know how long to put in work and when to get out.
No matter how much you love and want the man you’re dating, you have to put yourself first and consider your well-being. If you find out that he simply doesn’t want the same things that you do, it may be best to cut your losses and look for someone who is better for you.

Tip

  • Consider visiting a therapist or relationship counselor, either alone or with your significant other.This is a good option if you simply feel like you just can’t make any headway and need professional help.

About the Author

As a full-time writer in New York's Hudson Valley, Lindsay Pietroluongo's nightlife column and photos have appeared regularly in the "Poughkeepsie Journal" since 2007. Additional publications include "Chronogram," the "New Paltz Sojourn," "About Town" newspaper and "Outsider" magazine. Pietroluongo graduated from Marist College with a B.A. in English.

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