How to Date in Your Forties

Let's face it. Dating isn't easy, no matter what your age. Now, in your forties, you may feel more and more pressure to settle down. Or perhaps family or work obligations have put a damper on your dating life until now. Whatever the case, it's time to put all excuses behind and embrace 2010 as the year you will jump headfirst back into the dating pool. With a bit of networking and charm, combined with the plethora of available online matchmaking services, you will soon find yourself in dating bliss.

How To Date in Your Forties

Step 1

Look out for the heartbreakers. Once you are able to red-flag your dating don'ts, you will be more open and available to the type of person you were meant to be with. For example, if you tend to get your heart broken over and over again by men who have never been in a long-term relationship, you may want to start dating men who are now divorced. By doing this you can be assured that your date was committed at some point in his life, which is a start.

Step 2

Surf the web for love. Matchmaking sites are now more bountiful than ever and include specific niches intended to suit every individual, from outdoor adventure enthusiasts ( to dog lovers ( Pick your pigeonhole and make it happen.

Step 3

Take a risk. People find love in the most unexpected places—laundromats, subways, even the line at the parking clerk's office. Because of this, it's imperative that you always go about your day-to-day routine with the attitude that you could meet someone worth dating along the way. Always dress nicely, practice impeccable hygiene and don't be afraid to engage in conversation with a complete stranger.

Step 4

Spread the word that you are on the prowl. Although many of us shudder at the the thought of a blind date, these are actually brilliant for meeting new people you may be interested in dating. No one knows us better than the friends and family who are trying to match us up. The next time a close coworker says she has the “perfect” match for you, act interested, give it half a shot (you can at least chat with the potential date over e-mail) and you might be pleasantly surprised at your friend's matchmaking abilities.

Step 5

Try speed dating, an excellent way to get back into the dating scene. This dating technique works especially well for the guy or gal on the go, as the speed date will allow him or her to engage in multiple “mini dates” in just one night with a magnitude of eligible bachelors or bachelorettes. These events are often hosted at a restaurant or bar, and speed dating combined with a bit of social drinking promises to be an entertaining evening for both you and your friends. This kind of fun, unrefined adventure may be just what is lacking in your dating life.

By remaining positive and unafraid and taking what you once deemed were “wild” risks, you can make dating in your forties just as it was in your teens: exciting, new and full of promise.

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  • Dating younger and more "impressionable" people may be fun, but you may not always be on the same level of maturity.
  • Dating others in their forties can work, just as long as you avoid the “eternal bachelor” type who is still single after all those years (and partial to promising the world and not delivering).
  • A person older than you may prove to be both a mentor as well as a lover. It's all about what works and what doesn't work for you.
  • Don't give up on dating, even if the first few tries don't go so well. Your old confidence and charm will be restored to you in no time.

About the Author

Katarina Fitzpatrick has written professionally since 2006. Her work has been published on,, LIVESTRONG and for the newspapers, the "Hanover Mariner" and the "Norwell Mariner" in Boston and the "Jamestown Press" in Jamestown, R.I. She is a 2006 graduate of Emerson College, where she earned her undergraduate degree in print and multimedia journalism.

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