How to Deliver a Break Up Speech


Delivering a break up speech can be as simple as declaring you've had enough and walking out the door, or as complicated as discussing for hours on end why the two of you shouldn't be together anymore. Although there are many different ways to deliver a break up speech, the best thing you can do is to go into the situation prepared to meet some resistance.

How to Deliver a Break Up Speech

Before you start delivering the break up speech you should be absolutely sure that you want to break up. A break up speech should not be an attempt at getting someone's attention or shifting the power of the relationship into your hands. A break up speech should serve one purpose: to end a relationship.

It is best to deliver a break up speech in person. Breaking up over the phone, e-mail, or text is tacky and it does not really allow for the possibility of a mutually agreed upon end to the relationship. You must have cared for the other person at some point, so draw on that emotion in order to attempt to make the break up speech less hurtful and more matter-of-fact. Your main goal should be to end the relationship instead of hurting the other person.

Try to figure out beforehand what you want to say for your break up speech. A good format to follow is this:1. Announce that you are done with the relationship.2. Explain why you are done with the relationship.3. Thank the other person for the good times you did have together.4. Try to leave the situation amicably.If you actually have a plan for what you want to say then you may have an easier time delivering your break up speech.

Even if it is your full intention to leave the relationship as friends, remember that the other person will probably feel rejected and therefore may have a knee-jerk reaction of hurling insults at your or begging you to stay. At this point your break up speech is over. Don't give in to the desire to start throwing insults right back or to take back everything you said because you've hurt the other person so deeply with your break up speech. If the person you've just broken up with isn't rational at this point then no more speaking on your part is going to make any difference.

Don't set out to damage the other person. Your break up speech should simply state the facts and should also let the other person know in no uncertain terms that the relationship is over. You will damage the other person if you are wishy-washy about what you want. By simply saying you want to see other people when in fact you have no desire to ever see this person again is unfair. Don't pepper your break up speech with insults either because you speech should only convey that you want to break up and not what a horrible person you see your ex as.

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Things You Will Need

  • Access to the person you're breaking up with
  • Organized thoughts
  • Resolve to see it through


  • Try to be the better person and keep everything factual instead of turning it into a screaming match.


  • Have a plan of escape for when you're done with your speech.

About the Author

Tamsen Butler is a freelance writer and editor. She has been a professional writer for nearly five years and writes regularly for several financial and parenting websites. She is a published author and is enrolled in graduate school pursuing a degree in counseling. Her two children keep her quite busy but also enjoys teaching acting classes and is active in her church.

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