Divorced Women & Dating

A divorce can be quite a traumatic event for a woman. Her life is uprooted, and everything she has lived and experienced for the duration of her marriage has changed in some sense. While both parties go their separate ways, one or both must readjust to the dating scene. Knowing what you are looking for in a partner will help boost your chances of finding a good mate; one you will be compatible with and can devote your life to. After the divorce, when she is in the midst of her new single life, one of the most helpful things a woman can do is evaluate her own self worth and determine what qualities she desires in a mate. She must also determine what she does not want in a mate. She can seek a new relationship via online dating and even make a few connections by simply being active. This is the perfect time to make such an evaluation because she will be more likely to base her decisions on her own choices rather than on the traits of an individual who used to be in her life.

Dating after a divorce can work out, just take enough time and move carefully.Dating after a divorce can work out, just take enough time and move carefully.

Her Self Worth

A woman who has recently been divorced can sometimes suffer from low self-esteem. She must identify her positive character traits and develop a routine for reminding her of these, such as making a list and hanging it on her refrigerator or calendar. When a woman determines that she is worthy of love it will be easier for her to identify prospects who see those same qualities in her.

Her Desirables

She must first make a decision on the traits she finds most desirable. For example is spontaneity more important or is does she prefer a man who is more predictable and requires a schedule for daily living. She has to consider her potential mate's background. Will a difference in religious beliefs or lack thereof cause strife between the couple? Do either one or you have children or could possibly want children in the future?

Her Undesirables

After she decides what she wants, she can move on to deciding what she does not want. Determining pleasing attributes can sometimes prove to be the most challenging part of finding a lifelong mate. For example she may find romantic, over-the-top gestures quite attractive, but a bad temper unattractive. There are some qualities in a mate that simply are not tolerable, and she must know her own boundaries before entering into a relationship if she wants it to prosper and grow.

Online Dating

Online dating is now a very popular way to meet someone with whom you are compatible. To be safe with online dating, certain rules should be followed. All personal information should be protected. All first-time meetings should be in a public place that is well lit with several people nearby, such as a restaurant. Photos should be obtained. A reputable dating service should be chosen. And most importantly, a woman should always follow her instincts.

Be Active

Women who have been divorced can take comfort in reassuring themselves that their life can be an active, flourishing life without a mate. Planning daily activities is a great way to do all of the activities that you wanted to do but was never afforded the opportunity. It is also a great way to make daily connections with others and establish new friendships. New relationships have not even the slightest chance of being born if there is no exposure to new faces.

About the Author

Meka Jones, from Cherokee, Ala., began writing in 2009. She is a faculty member at Shelton State Community College and has written for "Shoals Woman Magazine" and various online publications. Jones is pursuing a Ph.D. in exercise physiology at the University of Alabama and holds Master of Arts and Bachelor of Science degrees in physical education from the University of North Alabama.

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