How Do I Avoid Dating Rebounding?

Don't try to mend a broken heart by dating on the rebound.Don't try to mend a broken heart by dating on the rebound.

When you break up with someone, it can feel as if your heart is broken. This is especially true if your dating partner surprised you by breaking up unexpectedly. Regardless of the reason for the breakup, it is a good idea to avoid dating rebound. Dating rebound occurs when you leap into the arms of another person very soon after a breakup. When you leap before you look, the results are often a disaster and filled with regret. You can soothe this gnawing pain and enjoy life again in other ways.

Get Active and Involved

Pick out a new hobby, or rediscover an old one. Take a non-credit college course at a local community college. Always liked taking pictures? Sign up for a photography class. Want to learn how to master a particular computer program? Now is the time. Classes that allow you to learn something new will keep you busy and away from focusing on your sense of loss.

Try something new.

Join a gym and commit to a regular exercise routine. It will make you feel better; and the endorphins released while exercising add to a sense of well-being. If you already exercise regularly, try varying your exercise routine. Give kick boxing, belly dancing or water aerobics a try--even if they are out of your comfort zone. You have nobody to impress but yourself by showing that you can do it.

Say "no" to anyone who asks you on a date or tries to set you up on a date. Although it may sound trite, not saying "yes" to going on a date is the number-one way to avoid dating rebound. Feel free to explain that you need some time to yourself, and stick with it. If the person really wants to date you, he will wait.

Spend time with family, because nobody knows you like they do. Hang out and play cards or board games at home with relatives. Schedule social activities--like ice skating, or going to see a play--with a sibling, cousin or parent. Family often gets pushed to the side when we are wrapped up in the dating scene, so this is a good time to focus on re-strengthening those family ties.

Put in more time on the clock.

Work overtime to increase your paycheck and keep you busy. This approach to avoiding dating rebound may not sound like fun, but it could be a good chance to impress the boss at work. Ask if there are any projects that need attention, and you may get some attention yourself--along with positive feedback--from your supervisor.

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  • If you cannot shake the feelings of sadness due to the end of a relationship, or cannot overcome the urge to take provocative measures, please consult a mental health care specialist.

About the Author

Karen Nehama is a former chef and restaurant manager, currently serving as editor of a food review and recipe website. With expertise as a youth adviser, she is also a consultant for a teen advice column.

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