What to Do When a Guy Ignores You

If it doesn't work out, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.If it doesn't work out, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Things were going great, he seemed to like you a lot and you were starting to think about a happy future for the two of you. Then silence. A few days of not hearing from him, a few unreturned phone calls and text messages, and you reach an unpleasant conclusion: he's ignoring you. It hurts, we know it does. But before you let your emotions take over, give yourself time to consider your next course of action.

Does it Matter?

Your reaction really depends on where you are in your relationship with this man. Were you still at the flirting stage with no real involvement? Had you had a few dates but nothing else? Or had you been on several dates, declared feelings for each other and talked about making plans? If you're still in the beginning stages, with nothing more than a conversation or two and a hint at a date, you need to ask yourself why it even matters to you that this guy is ignoring you. Drop the worry and move on.

Did You Argue?

Let's give the guy the benefit of the doubt for a moment. If you're clearly in a relationship and he's suddenly stepped back from you, he may have a reason. Think back. Have you had a recent argument that went unresolved? Anger and upset feelings could be why he's being quiet. That said, it doesn't let him off the hook. Giving you the cold shoulder is the wrong way to handle any argument, says Caitlin Moscatello with Woman's Day. Give him a few days' space, then approach him calmly to talk about it. Hopefully all goes well. If it does, ask him to give you a head's up the next time he needs time to cool down rather than stonewalling you.

Out of Nowhere

Getting ignored out of nowhere is bewildering. Wasn't he just saying he loves you? Didn't he say you could trust him? A sudden and unexplained silence on his end can have a variety of reasons, very few of which are good. He may have lost interest, or found someone else he's more interested in, or he may not have ever cared at all. Sure, it's possible someone important in his life has died and he's withdrawn into grief instead of seeking comfort from the woman he loves, but is it likely? If your relationship has gotten serious, at least for you, wait a few days and then calmly ask for an explanation.

Keep Yourself in Check

No matter the situation, becoming needy or desperate is absolutely the wrong thing to do. Even if he needs a few days' break for whatever reason, a man who loves you will return to wanting your company, says Eduardo Ramos with Cosmopolitan. Resist your natural inclination to get answers, to seek appeasement. Sending a flurry of text messages and making repeated phone calls will drive away even an interested man and pad the ego of a lousy one. Hold tight to your dignity. If you have to strong-arm a man into a relationship, you don't have a relationship at all.

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About the Author

Brooke Julia has been a writer since 2009. Her work has been featured in regional magazines, including "She" and "Hagerstown Magazine," as well as national magazines, including "Pregnancy & Newborn" and "Fit Pregnancy."

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