How Do I Know If He Loves Me or If He Is Playing Me?

Monitoring your man's behavior is a good way to know what  his intentions are.Monitoring your man's behavior is a good way to know what his intentions are.

Relationships can be very complicated. Whether you are a first-time dater or have been in many relationships, you may find yourself in a situation where everything is not as it seems. Unfortunately, finding the right man can take multiple attempts and broken hearts. At some point in a relationship, you may feel like you are being "played." In short, this means your partner is not being fully honest with you, or he is hiding his true intentions. Although this behavior varies from person to person, there are ways to know if you are being played.

Discuss the subject of commitment with him. If he has made it abundantly clear that he wants to be with you in the long run, then chances are he genuinely loves you. If he avoids the subject but does not explicitly end the relationship, he may just be keeping you around until he finds someone else. In this case, you are being played.

Examine his behavior. If he regularly gives you affection and attention without being too clingy or needy, you probably have a healthy relationship based on love. However, if he suddenly becomes distant or seems disinterested in you without breaking things off, you are probably being played.

See him regularly. If your boyfriend has a busy schedule, but still makes time for you, then he loves you enough to give you the attention you deserve. If he seems to be spending little or no time with you because he is "too busy," it is possible you are being played. He may even be using his free time to see other people.

Communicate with him. If he is willing to open up and talk to you about his feelings or issues, then he loves and trusts you. If you constantly struggle to appease him when he gets upset, he is using his emotions to control you.

Ask him what he thinks of you. If he respects and accepts you for who you are, then it is quite likely that he truly loves you. On the other hand, if he always judges you, finds faults or tries to change you, then he is trying to mold you into someone else.

Determine why he spends time with you. If your boyfriend takes you out on dates or spends time to connect with you and nurture the relationship, this is a sign of genuine love. If he only seems to call when he needs something, such as money or sex, then you are being played.

Trust your instincts. If you feel safe and secure with your relationship, then you are probably fine. If something seems out of place, or you feel like he does not truly care for you, then you are probably being played.

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About the Author

Alex Saez is a writer who draws much of his information from his professional and academic experience. Saez holds a Bachelor of Arts in English literature from Queen's University and an advanced diploma in business administration, with a focus on human resources, from St. Lawrence College in Kingston, Ontario.

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