How to End a Relationship Over the Phone

Breaking up over the phone is no easy task.Breaking up over the phone is no easy task.

Ending a relationship can be one of the most nerve-wracking events in your life. Depending on the circumstances, a phone breakup may be the best course. Always be prepared for anything when you decide to end a relationship over the phone, including tears, yelling or a visit from your soon-to-be ex. Try to stay calm and if you follow the steps below, you will be able to end your relationship over the phone, hopefully with no hard feelings.

Step 1

Write a rough outline of what you'd like to say during the phone conversation. If you feel comfortable reading straight from a piece of paper, go ahead. If you think you'll feel like you're reading a script, try writing bullet points of exactly which statements you'd like to bring up. Don't worry if you end up straying from the paper. It should only be there if you get flustered or lost.

Step 2

Find a nice, quiet place to make the phone call. Don't make the call in a public place or an area where you may be interrupted. You don't want the phone call to be interrupted by bad reception or too much background noise.

Step 3

Start the phone call by telling your partner the positive aspects of their personality and your relationship. Explain to your partner how caring, sweet, kind and thoughtful he has been over the course of the relationship. Remind him of an event you shared together that you felt was particularly meaningful, and tell him that you really enjoyed being with him. Even if you would sooner yell at your partner and tell him to get lost, it's important to start the conversation on a positive note.

Step 4

Explain to your partner why the relationship isn't working. Try not to place blame. Explain calmly and patiently why you have chosen to end the relationship. Try not to let your partner interrupt you to explain her point of view until you are finished explaining to her why you have decided to end the relationship.

Step 5

Listen to your partner's rebuttal. She may agree with you completely or may be upset and distraught. If your partner is upset, offer to come to talk in person. If the breakup is mutual, reiterate what a great time you had in the relationship and say that you hope you can remain friends. Try to leave the phone call on a light note. If your partner is angry or yelling, offer to meet at a neutral location and discuss your concerns further.

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  • Try to be sensitive to your partner's needs. If your partner absolutely must talk in person, be prepared to meet at a neutral location.


  • If your partner becomes violent toward themselves or others, call the police.
  • If you suspect your partner will become violent toward you, call the police before making your phone call.

About the Author

Megan Smith has been a freelance writer and editor since 2006. She writes about health, fitness, travel, beauty and grooming topics for various print and Internet publications. Smith earned a Bachelor of Fine Arts in writing from New York University.

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