How to Flirt with a Girl Without Being Obvious

Learn to flirt without being so obviousLearn to flirt without being so obvious

When you like a girl, it can be difficult to be around her without making a babbling idiot of yourself. Naturally, you want to flirt with her, but you don't want to be too obvious about it in case she isn't attracted to you. Flirting allows you to test the waters without putting yourself on the line. The key is to relax and be yourself--you want her to like you for who you are.

Use your body. Body language is a great indicator of interest. Your nonverbal language is also less obvious than cheesy pick up lines. Orient your body toward a girl and maintain good posture. Make eye contact and keep her gaze. These behaviors show interest without making you the equivalent of a giant billboard. Using body language to your advantage gives you an edge without needing a big show.

Maintain a soft and calm tone. Many men think that flirting has to be a show of their power. Yet, you can be assertive and direct while remaining calm and collected. If you want to be less obvious when you flirt, make sure your speech is deliberate and calculated. Don't worry about sealing the deal in a matter of moments. Take time to be with her and be cool.

Use a unique ice-breaker. Don't tell her how she must have fallen from heaven -- instead remain down to earth when speaking to her. If your goal is to be less obvious, then using a line that fits your personality is going to be way better than those cliche pick up lines. Compliment her on her clothes or any other unique pieces of apparel she is wearing.

Tune in to her signals. If she has a lot on her mind, listen to her. On the other hand, if she seems more quiet, don't be afraid to ask her about what she's interested in. Many men opt to lay the flirting on thick rather than really get to know they women they're attracted to. Flip the dating table and make an effort to understand her based on how she's presenting to you. You're likely to make a great impression that way.


  • Do not pressure a woman to engage with you. You can show her a lot of respect by listening to her if she's not showing interest.

About the Author

Maggie McCormick is a freelance writer. She lived in Japan for three years teaching preschool to young children and currently lives in Honolulu with her family. She received a B.A. in women's studies from Wellesley College.

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