How to Flirt With a Girl You Like

Relax and have fun.Relax and have fun.

Flirting with a girl is a low-pressure way to show your interest and pique her interest. It takes practice to master this art, but knowing the basics of flirtatious conversation and body language can help you to avoid awkward conversations.

Step 1

Relax and have fun. Flirting makes the girl you like feel attractive and appreciated; don't try to score a phone number or make any physical displays of affection. When you’re not attached to a particular outcome, you are more confident and at ease.

Step 2

Wait for an opportunity to start a playful conversation. Consider the girl's mood before you flirt: If she appears to be irritable, distracted or busy, consider waiting for a better time to be flirtatious. Try to cheer her up if she seems down. You might not get the response you hope for, so try again when she seems to be more receptive to playful chatter.

Step 3

Make eye contact and hold her gaze a second longer than usual, but don’t stare or try to gaze deeply into her eyes. Start your conversation after making eye contact--if you continuously glance over at the girl, you’re likely to make her uncomfortable.

Step 4

Start a casual conversation and look for opportunities to steer it in a romantic direction. Verbal flirting relies heavily on innuendo and double meanings. These are ways of implying romance without being obvious. Start by taking an innocent remark of hers and replying as if you understood that comment to mean something more suggestive.

Step 5

Use body language to show both confidence and romantic intent. Smile easily and casually, and stand relaxed with your feet slightly apart or sit leaning back. Use broad gestures rather than quick, jerky movements. Keep your palms open instead of clenching your hands or fidgeting. Avoid slouching.

Step 6

Close the conversation while you’re both still enjoying each other's company. If you aren't ready to ask her out, your last comment could be simple and casual, such as “Nice talking with you” or “Maybe we should go out sometime.” Offer a specific plan if you ask her out right then, like “I’m going to a cookout with some friends this weekend. Would you like to come?”

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  • Tailor your comments according to the girl’s sense of humor; girls are often uncomfortable with openly suggestive comments.
  • Look for good examples of romantic and racy innuendo--watch Humphrey Bogart or James Bond movies. Sitcoms, like "Scrubs" or "M*A*S*H," also offer a general idea of how verbal flirting works. Adapt the language to your own personal style and sense of humor.


  • A girl might flirt with you even when she doesn't have any serious interest in you, for fun or attention or to make someone else jealous.
  • Avoid touching her suggestively or trying to get close to her. A casual, quick touch on the shoulder or hand is fine in most cases; avoid any other kind of touching until you know the girl is interested.

About the Author

Nicole Langton has been a professional writer for over 10 years. She began writing for a natural health company where she developed a deep interest in nutrition and natural treatments. Langton earned a Bachelor of Arts in east central European studies as well as a certificate in English language to teach to adults.

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