Gay Dating Etiquette

A rainbow flag that symbolizes gay culture.A rainbow flag that symbolizes gay culture.

All dating, whether straight or gay, presents challenges and you may have been running into a rough patch which means it may be time to look at what you have been doing that isn't working and what you can do to have more success in the future. It's hard to drop onto the dating scene, but once you do, there are simple rules of dating etiquette to consider and knowing what they are will bring more enjoyment to your experiences.

Consider Your Intention

Consider what your intention is. Decide if you are dating for companionship, sex or a long-term commitment. Once you know the answer to this question, this helps you to narrow your playing field. Don't confuse your dating partners by giving off the wrong intention -- be honest about what it is you want. But don't give away everything - hold back, so there is more to share on future dates.

First Dates

Internet dating sites are a good place to meet people; however it is also a world of people who prey on others. Do not give out personal information online and if you are meeting someone in person for the first time that you met online, then tell a trusted friend where you will be and be sure it is in a public place. Coffee shops work well and allow for a limited time such as right before work or lunch hour. And if the date is going well - you can easily extend it into dinner.

Taking The Lead

In any relationship, it can sometimes be hard to define who is pursuing and who is being pursued. Men in general are competitive, so both may be pursuing each other which can lead to too much competition. Watch your date's body language and pick up on visual clues. If your date leans back in his chair and smiles shyly, it's his way of saying you can take the lead. Even simple moves like reaching over to take your date's arm puts out the tone that you are taking the lead.

Information Gathering

You may be wondering if the person you are interested in dating is really gay. If you met them at a gay club or through an online gay dating service, then there is a good chance this person really is gay. Eye contact is important, so sending out a signal to catch someone's attention can give away the first clue. Hold that gaze for five seconds and if they look back you may have sparked some interest. Once you have a conversation going, then use active listening skills to learn more about this person.

Being Safe

If your date turns into a sexual experience, keep a few things in mind like keeping it sober. Head spins aren't enjoyable for anyone and you will want to remember this evening. A few glasses of wine to relax works well, but keeping it minimal goes a long way. Engage in foreplay to learn about your partner and communicate your needs. But most importantly practice safe sex. Carrying a condom is just as important as carrying a cell phone or wallet. Be aware of the hazards of casual sex and avoid engaging in acts that exchange bodily fluids until you both have been honest about your medical history.

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About the Author

Jan Weiss is a freelance writer living in Northern California. She regularly writes reviews on local restaurants and businesses as well as for and numerous contributions to eHow. With more than 15 years in the art business, Weiss has become well known in this arena and is collaborating on a guide to the art publishing business, which will be published as an e-Book.

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