How to Get Your Ex Back

Trying to get your ex back requires a leap of faith because you know the relationship already failed at least once. Both of you have every reason to believe the second (or third or fourth) time around will end the same way. The necessary changes require honesty, forgiveness and hard work.

Ask yourself why you want to get back together. Soberly, carefully assess why you want to make another effort.

Take a self-inventory. What did you do wrong in round one?

Demonstrate that the problems you experienced the first time around are not going happen again. Show how you have changed.

Romance your ex all over again. Remind him or her why you two fell in love in the first place.

Let the past be the past. All the old wounds and arguments are from another epoch, as far as you are concerned.

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  • Examine your ex's mistakes while you are digging through your own. Will he or she continue messing up in the same ways?
  • Show change; don't just reiterate that you are different. Tell your ex once that you have changed, and then let your actions do the talking for you.
  • You probably have a list titled "If Only I Had Done...." Now is your chance to put that list to use.


  • If you can't forgive or your ex does not want to forgive, there is no point in going back.
  • There is a fine line between persistence and stalking. Know when to throw in the towel.

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