How to Get Inside a Woman's Mind

A young couple having an emotional conversation outside.A young couple having an emotional conversation outside.

When you first met her, she left you awestruck. Now the woman in your life leaves you dumbstruck. Whether you're just starting to date someone new, are in a long-term relationship or are already married, understanding what's going on in your woman's mind is sometimes difficult. Getting inside of her psyche and gaining insight when it comes to her mental and emotional reasoning can help the two of you to communicate more effectively, making your life easier.

Keep Connected

You've only spent one day apart and she's texting you saying that she "misses you." If her actions seem sudden, it's likely that she's simply looking for a connection. While there are cases when this behavior indicates a needy or clingy person, many women simply enjoy the feeling of closeness. Ask her to be patient. For example, she calls you the morning after a date and says she wants to see you again. Tell her that you had an amazing time but already have plans with friends. If she says something along the lines of, "I'm so glad we hit it off. Have a good time and hope to see you soon," you're likely in the clear. If she insists on seeing you immediately, you may have a clingy situation on your hands.

Take Her Point of View

The moment that you walk in the door she's already in a tizzy, screaming at you for being late. If you're not sure why she's so upset -- or feel unappreciated because you just finished a long day at work -- consider her point of view. Remember that she works hard, suggests clinical psychologist Barbara Markway in her article "Six Keys to Understanding Women" on the Psychology Today website. This tactic also works if you aren't sure why she's upset. Run through her day or the previous events between the two of you and think about how she sees the situation.

Communication Differences

Just because the two of you are talking doesn't mean you're on the same page. If she seems frustrated with you or says that you don't understand her, take a minute to think about her purpose. She might not know how she's truly feeling and is using the conversation to explore her emotions instead of getting to the point. Give her time. Understand that she may need to talk it out before coming to a solution.

Attitude and Assertiveness

Assuming that you can simply get into her head and know what she's thinking won't always result in a positive outcome. If you truly want to know what's going on in her head, ask her. Not doing so may result in a misunderstanding. Show a caring attitude and let her know that you're there for her. Instead of guessing, say something such as, "I want to help you feel better. How can I do that?"

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About the Author

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.

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