How to Get Rid of a Guy

Be clear and don't leave him wondering if he still stands a chance.Be clear and don't leave him wondering if he still stands a chance.

He's calling, texting, following you on social media and won't seem to take "no" for an answer. When a guy's into you, but you just don't feel the same way, getting rid of him takes a mature mix of tact and assertiveness. While you don't want to get aggressive or demean him, you also don't want to lead him on. Be clear, state your intentions and let him know that what he wants is never going to happen.

Step 1

Turn the guy down in person. Getting rid of a guy is personal and requires some degree of sensitivity. A voice-mail, email or text won't cut it. If he asks you out, tell him "no" then. If the two of you are already dating, ask to meet in a neutral setting, such as the town park or a quiet coffee shop. Avoid inviting him over to your house. He may get the wrong idea or refuse to leave once he's there.

Step 2

Assert yourself. A wishy-washy blowoff may leave wiggle room for the guy to return. If you truly want to get rid of him, you need to step up and act assertively. Assertive behavior includes clearly communicating your needs, desires and feelings in a confident, yet sensitive, way. Keep in mind that assertive doesn't equal aggressive. Screaming at the guy to "Go away!" isn't assertive. Telling him, "I just don't feel the same way about you, so I need you to stop asking me out" gets your point across without acting combative.

Step 3

Set boundaries. Make it clear that contacting you is not acceptable. Get specific when you set your limits. If you tell him, "Please don't call," he might think he can still text or email you. If you feel that he will look for other ways to stay in your life, clarify what is and isn't acceptable. For example, say something such as, "Please don't call, text or email me. I understand that we may see each other because we have some mutual friends. Please respect my boundaries and don't get flirty with me during these social situations. Talking is all right, but that doesn't mean anything romantic will happen between us."

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  • There's a difference between asking you out and stalking you. Stalking is unwanted repeated contact and harassment that makes you feel uncomfortable to the point of being threatened, according to the Office on Women's Health, of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, on its website, WomensHealth. If the guy refuses to stop calling or texting you, shows up at your place of employment repeatedly, follows you or sits in his car outside of your house, he's most likely stalking you. If this is the case, file a complaint with your local police department. They can help you take the next step, which may mean filing a restraining order. If you think you're in danger, call 911 immediately and don't try to talk to the guy by yourself.

About the Author

Based in Pittsburgh, Erica Loop has been writing education, child development and parenting articles since 2009. Her articles have appeared in "Pittsburgh Parent Magazine" and the website PBS Parents. She has a Master of Science in applied developmental psychology from the University of Pittsburgh's School of Education.

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