Many people are nervous when dating. They want to say and do the right thing, appear cool and fun-loving and keep the other person interested. Nervousness, while normal, can hinder a relationship. It can make people uneasy and cause problems for both partners. While nervousness may not vanish with the snap of your fingers, a reality check can help you can reduce your nervousness.
Give It Time
At the beginning of a relationship, you may feel anxious about making a positive first impression so he will have an interest in you. If your relationship progresses, you will navigate many firsts, and establish how you interact and engage physically. This naturally makes people nervous. Often this unease subsides as you spend more time together and grow more comfortable with one another. You may be nervous for a while, but that is likely to disappear as your relationship progresses.
The anticipation of spending time with a boyfriend can give anyone butterflies. You may find yourself asking, "What should I say?" "What should I wear?" or "How should I act?" Ease this nervousness by preparing beforehand. Find an outfit in advance that makes you feel confident about your looks and about who you are. Think about your positive qualities and your interests.
Shift Your Focus
Worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing in front of your boyfriend can bring on the jitters. Dr. Jeremy Nicholson in "How to Reduce Dating Anxiety," published in Psychology Today, recommends focusing on your curiosity about your boyfriend to help ease self-consciousness.Think of topics to discuss and questions to ask him. Ask friends for advice and suggestions, especially if they know the guy who you’re dating. They can share tips, such as, “He loves talking about movies and cooking,” which can help you come up with topics the two of you could talk about.
Talk to Him
You may think you’re nervous and your boyfriend is the calm one, but you may be wrong. Talk to your boyfriend. Share that you’re feeling nervous and need to take it slow or that you are having trouble adjusting to this new relationship. Chances are he’ll understand. Tell him what he can do to help out. If he cares for you, which he most likely does, he’ll jump at the chance to help you feel more comfortable around him.
Is It Him?
If your boyfriend's actions make you nervous, it could be that he doesn't even know he's doing something wrong. He may think his eye contact is communicating attentiveness when it’s actually making you squirm. He may think he’s sparing you from boring stories, when actually his refusal to divulge what he did last night makes you worried he’s hiding something. Rather than let your nervousness grow, talk to him and tell him what he does to make you nervous. Perhaps it’s just a misunderstanding or maybe there is a deeper problem you need to address together.