How to Get a Guy to Date You Exclusively

A young couple eating pizza at an outdoor table.A young couple eating pizza at an outdoor table.

The first thing you need to understand about getting a guy to date you exclusively is that in the long run the decision is up to him. The best thing you can do to tilt the odds in your favor is to be honest about your feelings. Dating exclusively implies taking the relationship to the next level -- monogamy. Be forthright about your feelings and then prove to him that it will be the best decision he's ever made.

Don't Play Games

Some women are afraid of feeling vulnerable in fear of getting hurt, but you'll be wasting your time with the guy if you're not straightforward with him. Go for it: tell him how you feel and exactly what you want. You might say, "I've enjoyed the time we've spent together. I think there might be a connection here. I'd like very much if we could see each other exclusively and see how things go from there." There is a time and place for being coy, but you needn't play games when it comes to a potential relationship. Sometimes a woman makes a man wait before she returns his call or text, thinking she's being aloof and mysterious. Actually, she's frustrating him. If he has other women in waiting, it's game over for her chances at exclusivity.

What to Ask

The phase of dating before an exclusive commitment is often dubbed the "courtship" phase because you've gone beyond the awkward getting-to-know-you conversations. This is the point in dating where you'll want to delve into more personal conversations, exploring history, beliefs, values and life goals, writes psychologist Marie Hartwell-Walker in her Psych Central article, "In Defense of Courtship." Find out if he's a good fit for you by asking tough questions. For example: "Do you want children?" or "What is your spiritual or religious affiliation?" and more importantly, "Are you looking for a long-term, committed relationship?" By asking questions about issues that are important, you'll determine if the guy is right for you.

Prove You're Worth It

While dating and getting to know one another, you have the opportunity to show what a commitment would be like with you -- perhaps in the form of hand-holding or a gentle caress of the forearm. If you have a caring and thoughtful disposition, manifest that part of your personality, maybe by listening intently or cooking something special for him. Don't overdo it too soon. You don't want to overwhelm him and send him running for the hills. You just want to give him a taste of a wonderful life with you -- enough to keep him crawling back for more, exclusively more. Send him a subtle email or text thanking him for a wonderful evening. Let him know you're thinking of him while stroking his male ego with appreciation.

Make a Decision

If he agrees to dating exclusively, great, the two of you can celebrate and discuss your expectations for a dating relationship. If not, it is his loss and you can walk away with your head held high, knowing that you had the courage to ask for what you want. There's no shame in that. If the guy decides he doesn't want to be exclusive, then he's just playing the field. You've already determined that you want something more -- consider it non-negotiable in terms of your relationship needs. Respect yourself and move on. There are plenty of other men out there looking for something exclusive.

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About the Author

Kimberly Liby has been a content writer and editor since 2006, with articles in "944" magazine. She has written on a range of topics including cooking, health, current events, philosophy, psychology, career, education, writing and editing. Liby holds a Bachelor of Arts in English literature with a writing minor from Arizona State University, and a Master of Science in psychology from the University of Phoenix.

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