How to Get a Guy Over His Ex

Just because a relationship has officially ended doesn’t mean that romantic feelings are dead. Letting go of them can be difficult, regardless of the length or perceived seriousness of the union. Watching a friend endure the pain of heartbreak can take its toll. Don’t let a lovesick pal drown in the self-pity that can easily follow a romantic split. Use encouragement, creativity and persistence to help your friend break free from despair.

Step 1

Express your commitment to help him through his heartache. Establishing your role as an attentive listener can make your friend feel valued. Avoid expressing frustration if he meets your initial suggestions with hostility or indifference. Realize that it may take friendly persuasion and persistence to encourage your friend to better his situation.

Step 2

Serve as a liaison between your friend and his ex. Offer to perform any needed services, such as picking up his personal items from her or delivering her things from him. According to the UCLA Center for Men and Women, retrieving the items himself can be too overwhelming for a lovesick guy. It may even make him beg for a second chance or other embarrassing actions. Encourage your friend to end thoughts of forging a friendship with his ex until he’s healed.

Step 3

Act as the voice of reason. While it’s important to listen to him talk about his feelings, allowing him to wallow in self-pity won’t help him get over his ex. Remind him of the bad times he had with her whenever he starts focusing too heavily on the good ones. Meet talk of her being “the only one for him” with the reality that he can meet other girls.

Step 4

Encourage him to leave his room. According to, your friend can benefit from being in the midst of supportive buddies. Let your friend know that moping around the house won’t promote happiness or self-growth. Visit places that his ex doesn’t frequent, as running into her unexpectedly may prove too much for him to handle. Helping him try new activities can also work wonders for taking his mind off his breakup. Suitable activities include forming a band or joining an athletic team together.

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  • Discussing your personal experience with getting through heartache can help motivate your friend.


  • Discourage your friend from indulging in risky behaviors, as these temporary thrills aren’t worth the chances of future turmoil. This includes activities such as engaging in unprotected sex, excessive drinking and gambling.

About the Author

Mika Lo has been producing online content since 2005. The majority of her work has been published in areas such as parenting, lifestyle and health. Lo has also assisted with the development of community and hospital-based patient education programs, including creative discharge classes for new mothers and assisting underprivileged patients with medication assistance and information.

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