Understand your worth as an individual. You don't need someone else to complete you; you have intrinsic worth and value as a singular individual. Look at this time as a way to strengthen your character and make your personality stronger. Use this time wisely and you will be in a better position to come to know yourself outside of the context of another; this means that you will be better able to identify what traits in another person will best compliment your personality and desires the next time around.
Set personal goals and use this as a time to work on selfish pursuits. Without another person around to muck things up this is the perfect occasion to take some 'you' time. See to your own needs and life goals.
Keep busy. Create goals, a plan of action and work toward achieving them. Idle time is time when you may be tempted to think about the past. Just keep working toward your goals, don't give yourself time for regret and self-doubt.
Treat yourself often. Just because there's no one in your life doesn't mean that you don't deserve to be treated. Live life to the fullest, take yourself out and celebrate being you.
Compliment yourself. There was a study in the late eighties where researchers took individuals suffering from moderate to severe bouts of depression and divided them into two groups. One group was instructed to spend thirty minutes a day smiling at and complimenting themselves in a mirror while the other group, the control group, did nothing. After thirty days the mirror group showed dramatic improvement in their symptoms; improvement in some cases on par with the use of medication while the control group showed no change.
It may feel silly at first but I highly recommend that you utilize this technique. It really, really works (in case you can't tell I am speaking from personal experience).
When you find yourself thinking about the good times you had with an ex simply let the thoughts pass and continue with the task at hand. Don't try not to think about the past, this is a sure-fire way to dwell on it; just don't dwell.
Don't call love, love will call you. Don't go about desperately trying to fill the void in your life. It hurts; It is supposed to hurt. This is a part of being human just remember that the pain will pass and that you will be okay again.
Things You Will Need
- The desire to move beyond negative and regret and make some positive changes in your life
- Don't try to push unwanted thoughts from your mind, rather expect them like well-meaning relatives that you don't really want to see. Memories and pain are there to help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Welcome them, let them run their course and then they will be on their way.