Come to a decision together whether or not your relationship will be "out of the closet." For many reasons, some people may not be ready to admit to the public that they are gay or in a gay relationship. While it is healthiest to accept yourself for who you are openly, one partner may not be ready. You must understand each other, have patience and above all, decide whether you are willing to stay in or come out of that closet.
Date for an extended period of time before you commit to a long-term relationship. While this may seem obvious in any relationship, some gay people feel a bit isolated from parts of society, increasing the need for emotional connection, understanding and partnership. Make sure that you are guided into a relationship for the right reasons, and not simply for emotional needs, or you will never establish a healthy relationship.
Decide together whether you will have a monogamous relationship. As in any relationship, gay or straight, it is best to not have false expectations, so speak to your partner if you are ready to get serious and be prepared if they are not. If you choose to have a monogamous relationship, be faithful and respect the feelings of your partner.
Socialize with other people and couples, especially if you are trying to keep your relationship under wraps. An easy way to destroy a healthy gay relationship is to hide indoors for fear of being found out. Both partners can easily begin to feel smothered as the need for social activities grows. You can plan small dinner parties with other gay couples or even spend a night on the town with friends without the need to play up the fact that you are a couple if you prefer to keep the secret.
Stick up for yourself, your partner and other gays and lesbians to create a healthy relationship. Even if you have chosen not to come out just yet, you can earn self-respect and the respect of your partner by speaking up when someone makes a gay joke. This is particularly important in social circles, such as with friends or family, when your partner is present.