How to Get Him to Come Back

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

After a breakup or separation, you decide you want to be back in a relationship with your ex. If the feelings are mutual, then the relationship can resume. Instead of acting overeager or needy, patiently and strategically plan your approach and you will have him come to you.


The first step is to create distance between you and him by moving on. Men want what they cannot have. Dating someone new will spark jealousy. Men will see that you are desired by other men and want you back.

After he shows interest in you again, briefly ignore him. Do not call, e-mail or text him; let him reach out to you first. The mistake often made is constant communication after he shows interest again, but remember "too much, too soon" with smother him. Make yourself busy so that you are not tempted to revert to ways that might have been the source of the initial separation.

After it is clear that both of you want to reunite, give him a heartfelt apology in person if you initiated the breakup. Figure out what it was that drove him away and take time to work on it. When you feel that you have grown from the experience, ask him for another chance in a quiet place where both of you can express how you feel. If both of you truly care about each other, the relationship will work.

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  • Figure out the source of the breakup before attempting to get him back. Make sure you truly want him back before taking the steps and realizing you broke up for a good reason.


  • When playing hard to get, do not have a poor attitude. Always be positive and truthful -- never sarcastic.

About the Author

Cole Quirk has been a freelance writer since 2009. She received a Bachelor of Science in criminal justice from Penn State University and is pursuing a Masters of Fine Arts in screenwriting from UCLA.

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