How to Identify a Good Man

It's a sign you found a good man if he is attentive and giving.It's a sign you found a good man if he is attentive and giving.

Finding the right partner and building an effective relationship can take years, and the process may involve frustration, heartbreak and despair. With enough bad experiences some women may start to believe that there are no good men out there. But there are plenty of good ones, and if you're in a relationship with a man, there are signs you can observe to determine if he's a good catch.

Step 1

Observe to see how he listens to you. When you recount your day and you're talking about something that's bothering you, take note of how he reacts. He should be attentive, wait for you to finish and ask questions, which means he's genuinely interested in what you're saying and in your well-being. When you disagree or argue, a good man will not talk over you or try to shut you down. He will listen and tell you he disagrees, but will also make the effort to see your viewpoint.

Step 2

Take note of how he treats others. When you're at a restaurant, watch how he interacts with waiters and busboys. He should be polite when he asks for another drink, and if he gets the wrong dish or his food is undercooked, he shouldn't be condescending or demeaning, but react in a calm way. Observe how he acts when he meets your friends or your family members. He should make the effort to mingle and interact and listen to what everyone has to say, rather than being aloof or disinterested. And most importantly, observe how he treats women, whether it's your mother, your sister or your female friends. A good man is respectful and considerate to all women.

Step 3

Observe his attitude towards life. Is he a negative person or does he express hope even when things are difficult and challenging? Is he pessimistic and always looking at the worst case scenario? A good man should look for the positive aspects of every situation and try to find solutions, rather than simply whine about the unfairness of life.

Step 4

Watch how he treats you when he's with out with his friends, especially his male friends. If he leaves you alone for a long time, ignores you for most of the outing or disrespects you in front of them, these could be troubling signs. But if he treats you with the same amount of affection and respect as he does when you're alone, and makes you feel like the most important person in the group, that's a positive sign.

Step 5

Identify how often he makes himself available to you, both physically and emotionally. A good man wants to spend time with you even if you're doing nothing except sitting on a couch reading together. A good man calls you frequently just to see how you're doing, and he's willing to share what's going in his head. He makes the effort to communicate and give you insight into what he's thinking and how he feels about everything, not just your relationship.

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  • Every man is different, so be patient if several of his traits are more advanced than others. With your support, he can make progress in areas that need improvement.

About the Author

Sampson Quain is a screenwriter and filmmaker who began writing in 1996. He has sold feature and television scripts to a variety of studios and networks including Columbia, HBO, NBC, Paramount and Lionsgate. He holds a Master of Fine Arts in screenwriting from the University of Southern California.

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