How to Identify a Player in the Dating Game

Players are good at sweeping you off your feet, but may not follow through.Players are good at sweeping you off your feet, but may not follow through.

"Player" is a slang term used to describe skilled manipulators who smooth-talk their way into a person’s heart, crushing it in the process. A player might say, “I feel like I have known you my whole life,” “I knew I couldn’t let a good thing get away” and “I have never remotely felt this way about anyone before.” However, players are all talk and no action. They only care about themselves, which is why knowing how to identify one could help protect you and your heart.

Players know exactly what to say to win you over.

Step 1

Determine if a new dating prospect is genuinely speaking from his heart or if he is only saying what you want to hear. Remember: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Keep your guard up when dealing with questionable player behavior.

Be careful not to reveal too much on a social networking site.

Step 2

Clean up your social networking profile. Revealing too much about your personal life on social networks will help a player know exactly what to say to convince you the relationship is fate or meant to be. Social networking sites allow people to reinvent themselves or portray a persona different from their real one. Refrain from putting anyone up on a pedestal they don’t deserve.

Don't be shelved by a player.

Step 3

Pay attention to the number of excuses a player gives for not showing up. Actions speak louder than words, and futile invites to meet or attend various events without following through indicate that you're dealing with a player. Convenience is a player’s motto—when the mood strikes, a player will take you off the shelf and charm his way into your life.

Text messaging is a weak form of communication.

Step 4

Avoid anyone who refuses to call you. Communicating solely by texting is a clear sign a person does not want to commit or connect. Elusiveness and long periods between contact are signs a player only wants to keep you hanging. Be suspicious if you receive a ton of texts in one day—and then days pass with nothing. Refuse to give players the power to string you along, making you feel insecure. Inconsiderate behavior and disappointment are all a player can bring to a relationship.

Players excel at the art of playing hard-to-get.

Step 5

Identify dishonest and undependable behavior by following your instincts. Be careful not to put too much meaning into a first meeting. If you have to ask yourself if a potential love interest is the right person for you, in most cases, he is not. True interest will be followed by genuine effort.

Players are creative and deceptive, but a player's ways will eventually come back to play him at his own game.

Step 6

Understand that certain jobs, such as a big-shot lawyer, special agent or even an executive chef, will prevent a timely response during communication. However, no one is too busy to send at least one text message during the day. Failing to make minimal effort means a player is just not that into you, which can be a blessing in disguise.

Learn how to avoid a player.

Step 7

Watch out if a player moves too fast. Players play games, and unless you want to be a pawn in a game of cat and mouse, don’t fall for their fast-talking, reassuring-but-empty words. Value yourself and don’t let a player take your self-worth or belief in true love.

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  • Don’t be surprised if a player becomes defensive if you accuse him of his dishonest ways. Sometimes the truth hurts.
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