How to Get a Kiss on the First Date

Get a Kiss on the First DateGet a Kiss on the First Date

First dates can be both exhilarating and riddled with anxiety. Trying to assess the other person while portraying yourself in a positive light can be an exhausting experience. That's not to mention all of the dating etiquette you have to follow, like who pays the bill, what questions to avoid and, of course, the infamous first kiss. Not every first date is accompanied by a first kiss; however, certain steps can greatly increase the likelihood that you'll get one.

Prepare ahead of time. Go into the date assuming that a first kiss will occur. Make sure to brush your teeth, and bring along breath mints or gum. Also consider wearing perfume or cologne, but don't overdo it: There's a fine line between smelling nice and smelling like a department-store perfume counter.

Read body language. Pay attention to your date's behavior and mannerisms. If she stays close, touches you frequently and leans in when you talk, chances are she's interested. This also reveals her comfort with physical closeness and whether she is likely to desire a first kiss.

Plan a moment alone. According to, first kisses are more likely to occur when the two of you are alone. Therefore, make sure to find time during the date when others are not around. For instance, take a walk after dinner or go for a drive.

Let it happen naturally (sort of). Don't try to force a kiss or say things in an attempt to push your date into a kiss. One of the top 10 mistakes that blow a first kiss, according to, is pushing too hard too quickly. Instead, move at the pace that your date feels comfortable with. If you're not sure, just ask, "Am I coming on too strong?"

Look into her eyes and compliment her. This is a good intimacy gauge. Does she smile and maintain eye contact? If so, she is most likely interested in taking the next step. If she looks away or appears uncomfortable, she is not ready for the first kiss.

Lean toward her, but don't go all the way. If this kiss is going to happen, this is the perfect lead-in. If she has connected with you, she only has to lean in and your lips are there. On the other hand, if she pulls away when you lean close, then the feeling is not mutual. Keep in mind that this does not mean she's not interested in you. She may not be comfortable kissing on the first date. Just be patient and follow these same steps next time.

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  • Keep in mind that a kiss is largely the result of a great date. Focus on making the entire date enjoyable, and not just on performing the steps listed here.

About the Author

Based in northern Michigan, J.R. Erickson has been a freelance writer since 2006. She has been published at the White Pine Press, Michigan Nature Association, Life in the USA, and The Four Cornered Universe. Erickson holds a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Michigan State University.

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