The Sanskrit word "yoni" refers to the vagina, but the word actually means "sacred space" or "temple." The meaning of the word conveys the sense of reverence toward female sexuality inherent in yoni massage. Often when a woman experiences traumatic and/or deeply stressful events, the energy of those experiences will linger in her yoni. Yoni massage helps release those painful experiences. Although a woman may experience orgasm during yoni massage, the goal of the process is not merely sexual climax but emotional healing.
Set the stage by creating a sense of safety, privacy and sacred space. Use clean sheets and pillow and light some candles around the perimeter of the room. After the woman has disrobed, have her recline on the bed or massage table with a pillow to support her head and neck. Give her a full body massage using scented oil and/or hot stones. In order to receive the full benefit of the yoni massage, the woman has to feel relaxed and receptive. Allow this initial phase to take about an hour.
Guide the woman to breathe slowly and deeply. Help her use her breath to begin to relax from the inside out. Try to have your breathing rhythms synchronize. If you want, you can talk her through a guided meditation on the chakras to help her become more aware of her energy body. Let the massage start to center around the yoni area, focusing on the abdomen, thighs and pubic bone area. Slide a pillow beneath the woman's hips to elevate them so she can view the process of yoni massage.
Pour some warm oil or lubricant over the pubic mound area. Massage the outer lips of the vulva, observing the woman's response to determine the degree of pressure to use with your fingers. Gently squeeze the lips, sliding your fingers up and down their length. Then repeat this process with the inner lips, remaining aware of the woman's response to different degrees of touch. Eye contact between the person giving the massage and the woman receiving it deepens the intensity of the experience but try to keep the process primarily non-verbal.
Stroke the clitoris in a circular motion, both clockwise and counter-clockwise. Press it lightly between your thumb and index finger, again noticing the woman's response. Keep the rhythm slow and steady as you touch her. Slide the middle finger of the other hand into the yoni. Move the middle finger in a slightly crooked position as for a "come here" gesture, seeking what Tantra refers to as the woman's "sacred spot." Experiment with different levels of pressure, speeds and patterns of movement as you touch this spot. If the woman feels comfortable, you may insert more than one finger in the vagina. Another option, depending on the woman's comfort, is to use the thumb of the hand inside the vagina to stroke the clitoris and slide one or more well-lubricated fingers of the other hand into the anus. Or you can use one hand for the yoni and clitoris and the other hand to massage her breasts.
Continue to massage the yoni area. Maintain a steady, compassionate calmness so the woman feels free to let her body determine whether or not she climaxes or how many orgasms she experiences. She may also experience other forms of emotional release, including crying. Continue the massage until the woman indicates she wishes it to conclude the session. You may want to cover her with a sheet or blanket after the massage to give her a sensation of feeling safe and cocooned.