How to Leave Someone That You Love but That Is Not Right for You

Love is not always the best indicator of a healthy relationship. You may be in love with someone who mistreats you, has substance abuse issues or is otherwise a bad fit. It is often better to leave the relationship in these instances before you get more emotionally involved. While leaving someone you love is challenging, it is the best decision in the long term if the other person simply isn't right for you.

Step 1

Talk to your family and friends to get emotional support. Leaving someone you love is depressing and will be more challenging without help. Your loved ones can rally around you and provide assistance when needed.

Step 2

Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 if the relationship is abusive and there is a concern of retaliation. Local abused women's shelters have resources that can benefit you and they are also available for advice on how to proceed while staying safe. The hotline will put you in contact with others nearby who can help.

Step 3

Find a new place to live if you currently reside with the other person. You may need to stay with someone temporarily while you find more permanent housing or you may need to get a hotel but once you make the decision to leave, you should follow through immediately.

Step 4

Pack all of your belongings when the other person is not present. Have everything already in process before you confront your partner so you are not talked out of the decision.

Step 5

Inform your partner that you are leaving. Speak honestly about your reasons but avoid accusations that can inflame an argument. Instead, focus on your own feelings and why you need to leave for yourself. Leave without confronting your partner at all if there is a concern of violence or have others present as witnesses.

Step 6

Break off all contact with the other person once you leave. This isn't possible if you have children, but you should limit contact as much as possible so you both can get over the relationship and move on with your lives in a healthy way.

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  • Pursue a restraining order if your partner tries to hassle you after you've left the relationship.

About the Author

Michael Davidson started writing screenplays in 2003 and has had a screenplay professionally produced. He has also studied martial arts since 1990 and has worked as a licensed security specialist. Davidson has written articles for various websites. He is a graduate of Michigan State University and holds a Bachelor of Arts in advertising.

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