What to Look for in a Relationship Partner

Happy couple.Happy couple.

There's a fine line between the affairs of the heart and the expressions of love and commitment. Knowing what you want and need in a relationship partner provides a clear picture of how you express love, and how you need love to be expressed to you.


Taking the time to figure out what kind of relationship partner will best match you can save precious time, not to mention heartache. And if having children is part of your future plan, your partner will play a substantial part in shaping the kind of people your children will become. Knowing what to look for in a partner makes it easier to spot the qualities in a person that show the best promise for whatever future plan you hold.


So what are some key components of a solid relationship? What makes them last past the rough spots? And what is it about them that makes them worth the effort? A solid relationship will have two main ingredients present : chemistry and compatibility.

Chemistry, as we well know, is that certain quality of attraction. It's what electrifies a relationship and keeps it interesting. It can be a powerful force to the point where it makes compatibility and commitment or any practical perspective seem unimportant. This is where knowing what you're needing in a partner comes in handy, because chemistry is only part of the package.

Definite chemistry, as palatable as it may be, doesn't ensure a compatible mix. Compatibility means sharing similar likes and dislikes, as in lifestyle preferences--a spotless home, a love for family, preferred foods and economic needs. These are the day-in, day-out routines that define what is comfortable. Having a relationship partner who shares your likes and dislikes will add to life's comfort level.


Probability states that two people who spend a significant amount of time together will eventually disagree about something. Relationship disagreements are normal; how they play out is what makes for a solid versus a shaky partnership. Communication styles play a big part in how smoothly a couple handles relationship conflicts. Fortunately, this is something that can be spotted early on in the courtship. If you're the type of person who approaches problems head-on, being with a partner who prefers to sweep them under the rug will, over time, become a strain on your sense of stability. Also keep in mind that what may be a problem for you may not seem like a problem to him. Being able to talk it out is the bridge to a better understanding of one another's needs and expectations. In order to work through conflict, a couple's commitment to the health and longevity of the relationship is essential. Without commitment, the motivation to protect and nurture a relationship bond is lacking. It's inside conflict where care and commitment are most needed to solidify a relationship bond.


Sometimes the easiest way to get what we want is by singling out the things that we know we don't want. The same goes for choosing that right relationship partner. Knowing a red flag when you see one goes a long way towards avoiding regrets.

Friends and family play a big role in all our lives. Oftentimes, the opinions, or even expectations of friends and family are enough to sway our convictions. That being so, it doesn't bode well in a relationship if a partner is unable to maintain reasonable or healthy boundaries within her circle of influence.

Where a person's priorities lie is a good indicator of what she will or won't stand up for or protect. This too has to do with commitment to what's most important. As with a job, or achieving a goal, committing to something or someone is a choice that's made over and over again within the context of daily life. It's something that the right partner will do without too much hesitation. Anyone can make a commitment, or say it out loud. It's what she does that states the fact.


Choosing the right relationship partner is no easy task, and yet the effects that one special person can have on your quality of life is well worth the effort. The right person will bring out the best in you, and vice versa. This person will have your best interests at heart, oftentimes mirroring back to you those things that you can't see in yourself, both good and bad.

Areas of conflict, though stressful at times, become opportunities for growth as a couple, and as individuals. We grow and change as individuals whether we're in a relationship or not. With a compatible partner, you function as part of a team that shares the bumps and turns of life.

And finally, a solid relationship encompasses the core principles that create an environment in which dreams and passions are nurtured and can grow. It provides just enough comfort and just enough stress to motivate and soothe amidst the ups and downs that are to be expected in life, and as a couple.

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About the Author

Jacquelyn Jeanty has worked as a freelance writer since 2008. Her work appears at various websites. Her specialty areas include health, home and garden, Christianity and personal development. Jeanty holds a Bachelor of Arts in psychology from Purdue University.

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