Don't Try To Be Friends
Don't send out confusing messages by saying that you still want to be friends.
Being friends will make him think that he still has a chance.
Don't go out in the same circles as when you were dating.
Seeing him around, and him seeing you, will make it harder for both of you to move on. Unfortunately, sometimes when you lose a boyfriend you might also lose some friends. If you want to stay friends with mutual friends, arrange to meet at places where you won't bump into your ex.
Don't send texts or emails and don't telephone him.
That will make him think you are friends.
Don't reply to emails, texts or messages
Do not reply to any form of communication from your ex-boyfriend.
Even if it seems harmless, keeping in touch with him will send the wrong signal.
Call on his friends to help.
If he threatens to hurt himself or do something stupid, do not run to his rescue. Immediately call one of his friends--a reliable one--and ask him to deal with your ex. Desperate acts call for desperate measures: if your ex-boyfriend calls and says that he has done something to harm himself, calmly tell him you will call an ambulance. Do this and then alert one of his friends.
Tell him you will report him to the police if he is bombarding you with messages or calls, or stalking you in any way.
If this doesn't work, then report his behavior to the police and, if necessary, get a restraining order.
Write a Letter
Write to him.
If you have tried to tell him your relationship is over but he is still not getting the message, write an old fashioned, pen-on-paper letter. Seeing the words in black-and-white might help him get the message. Don't use an email to do this as emails are less personal and can be deleted, ignored or not taken seriously.
Write the letter in plain English, explaining exactly why you don't want to see him anymore.
Don't waffle, just state your feelings in succinct, easy to read language.
Be matter of fact in tone and clear in meaning. Send the letter by post. Remember a letter is personal, serious and can be reread.
- Ask your mutual friends to not mention anything that you are doing to your ex-boyfriend.
- If he turns up at your door and you have asked him politely to leave and he refuses, call the police or a friend to make him leave.
- If a man threatens or attacks you, call the police immediately. Don't be persuaded otherwise.