How Does a Man Get a Girlfriend?

Not all first dates go well -- so don't be discouraged if the first girl you date doesn't become your girlfriend.Not all first dates go well -- so don't be discouraged if the first girl you date doesn't become your girlfriend.

If you've been single your whole life, or have only been on first dates, getting a girlfriend might seem like an insurmountable task. It doesn't have to be though -- if you break it down and think about the steps to take to meet the right woman and make a match. You need a dash of courage, a dose of humor and lots of patience, but eventually good things will start happening.

Meeting Women

Sitting on your couch every afternoon will not make it easier to meet women -- nor will joining an all-men's varsity softball league. Think about your daily existence and how you can increase your chances of meeting more women. The more people you meet, the greater the chances you will find Miss Right. Join a club, do some volunteer work, or hang out with a new social circle. Engage in small talk with girls you like. Be friendly, and show interest. If you really want to pump up your dating profile, consider joining an online dating service.

Going on Dates

It isn't enough to meet more women -- you need to ask some of them on dates. Look for signs of mutual attraction, such as lots of eye contact, open body language and a girl who laughs at your jokes. Suggest that the two of you do something together. Keeping a first date low key by choosing an activity that doesn't require continuous conversation may help you. Though cliche, going to the movies can be a good first choice because you can talk before and after, and it gives you a natural topic to discuss. If the date goes well, make plans to meet again, but if it doesn't, don't despair -- just try again with another girl. After a date, keep a girl thinking about you by holding back some of your feelings, as suggested in the "Psychology Today" article "Playing Hard to Get Can Help You Get the Girl." A girl who is not totally sure how you feel will have you on her mind longer.

Getting Closer

Hopefully, you will have hit it off with one of the girls you have dated. As you get to know each other better, the initial attraction should eventually give way to a deeper connection, as discussed in the "Teens Health" article "Love and Romance." Share personal details about yourself and ask questions to learn more about her. Ask questions such as, "What was your childhood like?" "How did you like growing up in Alaska?" or "What is your greatest accomplishment?" Deepen the relationship by talking about things that you don't share with anyone else -- and soon you may find yourself thinking of her as your girlfriend.

Making a Commitment

At some point, both you and the girl you are dating will want to make a commitment to being boyfriend and girlfriend. It should become apparent when you are spending time only with each other that a monogamous relationship is the next step. You might want to make it "official" by letting your friends and family know your new status. Making a commitment means being there for each other, through the good times and bad -- so be sure you are ready to take this step and honor the decision to be reliable and loyal.

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About the Author

Arlin Cuncic has been writing about mental health since 2007, specializing in social anxiety disorder and depression topics. She served as the managing editor of the "Journal of Attention Disorders" and has worked in a variety of research settings. Cuncic holds an M.A. in clinical psychology.

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