A woman can sometimes feel confused when it comes to knowing how to talk to her man. One size does not fit all, and one phrase does not fit all men. To know how to talk to your man, you have to get to know him by listening to him and paying attention to what makes him tick.
Tell Him He's the Best
Competition is a driving force for many men, whether it is sports, writing a best-selling novel, having the greenest lawn or something as mundane as grilling a steak. Men are driven to compete and outrank other men. Pay attention to your man, listening to what he says and observing his body language to find clues to what is important to him. Then compliment him on being the best in those areas that matter most to him.
Tell Him How He Helps You
Men are known to be problem solvers. If you want to test this theory, just open the hood of your car in a parking lot. Soon men start to gather to see what is wrong. This desire to fix things spills over into other areas of life. For instance, when you begin to tell him about a problem, his wheels immediately start turning as he searches for a solution. If you are not looking for a solution, but you just want to vent, let him know that he is helping you by just listening. On the other hand, if you do need him to fix a problem, offer words of praise for his solution afterward.
Although he may not spend as much time in front of the mirror primping and preening as his female counterparts, men care about appearance. Your man wants to know that he looks good to you. Let him know you find him attractive -- and be specific. If you think his receding hairline makes him look all the more astute, tell him. Many men fear losing their attractiveness when signs of aging appear. If he's just the right height for you, even though he doesn't fit the stereotype of "tall, dark and handsome," let him know. Whether it's the color of his eyes, shape of his nose or muscles in his arms, compliment the physical feature or features you adore about your man to help him feel good about himself.
Validate His Sexuality
Tell him how much he rocks your world. Men feel disrespected when their affectionate or sexual overtures are rebuffed. This doesn't mean that you have to respond to his every whim, but how you respond makes all the difference. Your man wants to know you enjoy his attention and that be brings you pleasure. When the time isn't right, you can still let him know that you enjoy being close to him, even if being physically intimate with him has to wait. Shower him with words of affirmation and you will boost his ego and strengthen your relationship.
- Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; the Respect He Desperately Needs; Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D.
- Psychology Today: Women Need Love and Men Need Respect? ; Shauna Springer, Ph.D.
- For Women Only: Newly Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men; Shaunti Feldhahn
- Fox News: What Men Really Want