Some breakups you can see coming, while others come as a total surprise. Whatever the case, breakups are never easy. Your routine changes, your social life changes and you no longer have that person to come to for love and support. While it’s hard to realize in the midst of anguish and disappointment, your life can get back on track and become enjoyable again. The key is to put your energy into new relationships and new experiences.
Accept that the relationship is over. Yes, you and your significant other might get back together, but if you spend time fantasizing about that idea, you risk further stress and disappointment. You have to accept a relationship is over before you can truly move on.
Express your grief, but do it productively. Don’t post negative things on social networking sites or try to get revenge on your ex. Rather, write a poem, start a journal or share your feelings with a close friend.
Avoid excessive overeating or drinking. These may provide temporary relief, but they can hurt you more in the end.
Treat yourself to a “me” day. If you have the finances, get a new, stylish haircut, eat a delicious meal at that restaurant you haven’t tried yet, buy a new wardrobe or spend a day at an amusement park. Treat yourself to a day that’s all about you.
Reconnect with friends and family members whom you haven’t seen or talked to in awhile. A relationship can take up a lot of your time, giving you less time to spend with friends and family members. Now is your chance to reconnect with these people who can also act as a support system if you’re still grieving and need to talk to someone.
Join an organization or group. Take up bridge, volunteer at an after-school program or help pass out materials for a local politician. Doing this helps you meet people and focus your energy on positive activities instead of sitting at home and feeling sad.
Acquire a new skill. Finally learn the guitar or how to make an omelet. Write a play or dust off that Spanish-English dictionary you haven’t looked at since college. Learning new skills makes you feel productive and opens you up to things you didn’t know about before.
Seek new, healthy relationships once you’re ready. Avoid a “rebound” relationship or something just to give you a few thrills before you find something new. Instead, try to meet new people and see what happens. It may take time. You might still be upset over your previous relationship ending, but once you open yourself up to new possibilities, getting over the relationship becomes a lot easier.
- Give yourself time to make sure you're ready to date, but the sooner you get out there, the quicker you might find yourself ready to move on.
- Don't hold onto the past because you no longer have control over it and don't be afraid of the future because you never know what might happen.
- Try to avoid bringing up a bad break-up when talking to new people.