How to Not Get Attached on a First Date

Don't plan the future after just one date -- let the relationship develop slowly.Don't plan the future after just one date -- let the relationship develop slowly.

Getting too attached after a first date can lead to heartbreak, especially if your partner isn't looking for a serious relationship, or if you aren't compatible. While some people enjoy casual dating, others find it difficult to spend time with someone without developing serious feelings. You can't change your nature if you're a romantic at heart, but you can take steps to avoid getting too emotionally invested in a person after the first date.

Step 1

Remind yourself that you can't fully know a person after one date. Although daydreaming can be tempting, try not to plan the future. Focus on enjoying the date, not on wondering whether this person is the right person for you. Try to stay in the moment.

Step 2

Consider dating more than one person. You're less likely to become infatuated with one person if you have other dates to look forward to and other people to think about.

Step 3

Ask him directly what type of commitment he's interested in.

Step 4

Wait to become physically intimate, until you know your date better. Take your time, even if you're very attracted to someone.

Step 5

Don't get discouraged if the relationship doesn't work out, and don't blame yourself. Remind yourself that there are plenty of other people to date.

View Singles Near You

Click Here


  • Don't forget to take time to focus on your own interests and hobbies, too. Fixating too much on your romantic relationships is unhealthy.


  • If you consistently form attachments quickly -- and then find yourself met with disappointment -- consider speaking to a psychologist or mental health care provider to address any underlying issues that might be compelling you to cling onto a relationship too quickly.

About the Author

Rebekah Richards is a professional writer with work published in the "Atlanta Journal-Constitution," "Brandeis University Law Journal" and online at She graduated magna cum laude from Brandeis University with bachelor's degrees in creative writing, English/American literature and international studies. Richards earned a master's degree at Carnegie Mellon University.

Cite this Article A tool to create a citation to reference this article Cite this Article