How to Find Out If a Guy You Like Is Gay (is He Gay or Straight?)

Is he gay or straight?  How do you tell?Is he gay or straight? How do you tell?

Is he gay? Is he straight? That guy who just avoided eye contact with you in the store....those dreamy eyes....what was he staring at your for?

Every gay man struggles with the fact that it is very difficult to tell if another man is gay or straight. It happens to everyone eventually. You encounter a gorgeous, hot, smart, funny guy that is the best of all worlds. He's good with conversations, has a great outlook on life, and he's smoking hot! What more could a guy want?

Well some of the problem may be your interpretation of his actions. Does he want to be your friend? Or does he want to be with you? Depending on the day, your opinion on this might differ.

One thing is certain, body language can give you a lot of hints about his intentions. Keep an eye on how he acts around you. Is he constantly making eye contact? Does he stare and then quickly look away? Does he stare and smile? These are all excellent signs that he is into you!

With a little practice in the 21st century, men who are gay, bisexual, or metro-sexual can be spotted. Most of the time if they are interested in you, they will find a subtle way to let you know. Sometimes you have to take charge. The trick is knowing who's court the ball is in. My advice....try to keep in in yours!

Ready to run a new guy through the gaydar test? First try to make eye contact with him. Catch his gaze whenever you can and see how he reacts to it. If he seems odd or funny, back off and give him some space.

If step one produces good results, try this. Brush against him accidently or as you're speaking with him, casually touch is arm or shoulder. See if he tenses up or if he seems okay with it. Take it slow but if he seems okay with touching, take it a bit farther and become more "touchy" with him. Again, if he recoils, he is either straight or shy. Err on the side of straight.

Want to know the best way to put this to bed? If after a time he is okay with eye contact and an occasional touch....tell him you're gay. See how he responds. If he's cool with it, take it a step farther and ask if he is gay or straight. Either answer he gives will tell you a lot about his personality. It's up to you to accept that he may or may not be into you. But you'll never know if you don't try.

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Things You Will Need

  • You're not a mind reader, don't try to be one.
  • Don't make assumptions but go with your gut feeling. If he seems slightly interested, take the next step.
  • Patience and objectivity. Don't read too deeply into his body language, but be very aware of it because you can learn a lot!


  • Don't push your sexual preference on anyone. Take things slow and be respectful of straight people and their beliefs.
  • Don't come off gross or desparate. Guys hate that!


  • Be careful trying to get to know guys who may have homophobic tendencies. For your own safety, proceed with care and respect!

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