Your relationship is over, even though you did not want the break up. Dealing with heartache is no easy feat, and can take weeks if not months depending on the relationship. Holding on to anger towards your ex will only result in hurting you physically, emotionally and mentally, and will not make your ex come back to you. Dealing with your anger in healthy ways is extremely important in terms of getting over the relationship and ultimately moving on with your life.
Identify symptoms that indicate you are experiencing anger towards your ex. These include thoughts of getting back at or hurting your ex, making derogatory comments about your ex to friends and family, wishing your ex failure in future endeavors, blaming your ex entirely for the demise of the relationship, calling your ex to yell at him or her, asking yourself how your ex could do this to you and imagining suicide as a way to make your ex feel guilty.
Realize that you alone are responsible for creating your anger, which is extremely unhealthy for you. Anger, especially prolonged anger, can wind up making you physically and mentally ill. Although scientists are yet unsure how it occurs, anger can have direct physiological effects on the heart and arteries, according to Web MD.
Express your anger in healthy ways, none of which involve violence towards your ex. Showing anger in front of your ex will only cause more problems, especially if you have children with the person or work together. Healthy ways of dealing with anger include purchasing a punching bag and boxing gloves, taking a kickboxing class, going running or any type of physical activity. Such activity helps you burn off anger, though activities that are more aggressive and physically demanding help rid you of anger faster.
Write down your feelings of anger in a notebook or journal, another non-destructive method of dealing with your anger. Getting an angry love poem or story published in a literary magazine or similar publication may also help you feel better. If you are adept at writing song lyrics, try writing a break up song about your ex that you can perform if desired to help you deal with your anger.
Scream and cry if you want to. Crying and screaming can help you release some of the raw emotions you may be feeling, according to the website Kids Health. Try crying in a quiet place such as the shower or into your pillow at night to help you feel better, or take your car for a drive and scream your head off.
Treat and take care yourself. Get plenty of sleep and eat well, as stress can wear down your immune system. Go on vacation with your friends, treat yourself to a day at the spa or buy yourself something you've always wanted. Keeping yourself busy, doing the things you normally enjoy doing and treating yourself to something special will help you to not focus on your anger and move on.
- Give yourself time to get over the anger and sadness. While it may take a while depending on the length and intensity of the relationship, the pain and anger will eventually recede.
- Write a letter to your ex expressing all your anger, but do not send it.
- Resorting to drugs, alcohol or other destructive behaviors such as cutting yourself is considered numbing the pain as opposed to dealing with it, and can have very severe consequences, according to Kids Health.