How to Get Over Being Nervous Around a Guy

You can overcome shyness with practice and coaching.You can overcome shyness with practice and coaching.

Learning how to interact with guys without being nervous can increase your chances of attracting or keeping the attention of a romantic interest. Although movie vixens make this task look simple, it can be more difficult to maintain your cool in the real world. Putting your best foot forward when dating involves communicating with confidence, without losing yourself in the process.

Step 1

Understand that being nervous around a guy only makes you human. Even the most self-assured women had to hone their skills. Realize that spending more time around a guy can make it easier to just relax and be you. Avoid beating yourself up if your conversations aren’t as fluid or as magical as you’d like them to be.

Step 2

Set realistic expectations for your progress. Trying to move too fast can lead to embarrassing actions or verbal hiccups. Take small steps toward overcoming shyness, suggests psychotherapist Nancy Wesson, Ph.D., with, such as aiming to share one unsolicited observation during each conversation to increase your confidence. Slowly increase your interaction time until you become more comfortable with both talking and listening.

Step 3

Channel your inner diva. Modeling your behavior after your personal heroine can help alleviate tension and boost your self-confidence. Give yourself quick pep talks before interactions to relieve jitters. Deal with unexpected encounters gracefully, as you may not always be able to prepare for meetings. Ask yourself what your personal heroine would do when confronted with awkward situations and react accordingly.

Step 4

Lead with witty observations or by introducing common interests. Talking about familiar subjects allows your personality to shine through while helping to camouflage any nervousness. This can set the stage for interesting dialogue and will show that you’re more than just a pretty face.

Step 5

Let conversations flow naturally. Encouraging a guy to talk takes more pressure off you and your nervous behavior. It also allows you to get to know him better without coming across as too prying. Ask open-ended questions to extend the life of your interactions, while storing his interests for future reference.

View Singles Near You

Click Here


  • Bringing a friend with you or opting for group interactions can help you overcome dating nervousness.
  • Asking a male friend for pointers can help you plan a suitable approach.


  • Avoid pretending to be someone that you're not, as it can be difficult to keep up a dishonest persona.

About the Author

Mika Lo has been producing online content since 2005. The majority of her work has been published in areas such as parenting, lifestyle and health. Lo has also assisted with the development of community and hospital-based patient education programs, including creative discharge classes for new mothers and assisting underprivileged patients with medication assistance and information.

Cite this Article A tool to create a citation to reference this article Cite this Article