How to Get Over a Guy & Still Be Friends

Give yourself plenty of time to grieve afer a relationship ends.Give yourself plenty of time to grieve afer a relationship ends.

If breaking up is hard to do, then so is getting over a guy. Even though it doesn't seem like it at this moment in time, there are ways to get over a guy and still maintain a friendship. For now, don't fight your feelings, focus on yourself and reach out to him whenever you feel ready.

Step 1

Cry. A breakup is a painful mental and emotional experience. It is perfectly normal to go through some ups and downs and to have conflicting emotions about the situation. Don't be ashamed to let out your anger, frustration or sadness. Speak with someone or write down your feelings in a journal. Cut yourself some slack too. You may not work or perform other typical duties and routines, like cleaning, as well or as focused as you normally would. Take the time to grieve as well as do things that are nurturing and improve your mood such as getting a massage.

Step 2

Avoid temptations. There are many forms of temptation when getting over a guy. Perhaps you find yourself stalking him on Facebook or devouring three gallons of ice cream. Maybe you are contemplating going the "friends with benefits" route or hooking up with his best friend as a measure of revenge. To help make getting over a guy easier, avoid sinful temptations. Actions such as these are unhealthy and self-destructive. Focus your energy on ways to make yourself feel better such as yoga, exercise, hanging out with friends and family or starting a new hobby.

Step 3

Get back into a routine. Now that you are no longer together, you may find yourself with a lot more free time. Fight the urge to crawl into bed and stay there until you feel better. Get yourself back into the routine you had before you started dating him. Get up on time for work, head to the gym after work or fall back into reading your favorite books and magazines. Fill your schedule up with appointments and fun activities like going to the movies, hiking or antiquing. A routine may help take the sting out of your suddenly wide open social calendar.

Step 4

Hang out with him again. After a significant amount of time has passed since your breakup and you feel truly confident in yourself again, reach out to your ex. Perhaps you can resume your weekly bowling league nights or participate in a group outing together. If you choose to hang out out one-on-one, make sure to keep everything platonic. Don't go down memory lane or act affectionate. Be honest about your motives to make sure you're not holding on to the hope that you will get back together. A friendship between exes can only be successful if both people have moved on, or are making an effort to move on.

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Things You Will Need

  • Plenty of time
  • Tissues
  • Journal
  • Friends and family
  • Schedule or routine
  • Hobbies


  • It is very important to take good care of yourself as you cope. Binge eating, drinking or using drugs during this time will not help, and is a very unhealthy and self-destructive form of behavior.


  • Should you decide to hang out at the bar or pick up a case of beer, stay away from phones and/or computers. You may experience a moment of weakness and send a drunk text, e-mail or drunk dial. Though it may appear like a great idea at that moment, you may regret it the following morning.

About the Author

Susan Diranian is a writer for various online publications and magazines, specializing in relationships, health, fashion, beauty and fitness. She holds a Bachelor of Arts in English with a concentration in nonfiction writing and editing.

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