Give yourself and your ex enough time apart before you try to reach out.
It's important to remember that there is a reason why the two of you aren't together anymore. Trying to reach out to that person after a month apart probably isn't the best idea. You don't want to simply have (another) argument about your past relationship. Only you will know when you are emotionally ready to reconnect with your ex. Be honest with yourself about that and don't try to force it.
Call your ex if you still have his or her number.
Many like like to reconnect by using email or instant messaging programs since they are “safer” and “easier” than an actual conversation. The fact is that these methods don't pick up things like emotion or tone of voice and can actually lead to more problems if you do get in contact with your ex. Even if you leave a voice mail, calling shows that your attempt to reconnect is sincere.
Don't be afraid of small talk at first.
Chances are that it's been awhile since you have spoken to your ex so simple “How are you,” “How's work,” “How's your family” conversation is fine at the beginning. This gives the both of you an update on one another, serves as an ice breaker of sorts and can help ease any tension or nervousness either one of you may be feeling.
Explain to your ex why you felt the need to reconnect.
If the breakup was an especially rough one, your ex may want to know why you called. Remind your ex about how close the two of you were and that you don't see why the two of you can't talk every now and then and maybe even be friends.
Be honest with your ex about what's going on in your life, including your current dating life.
If you're seeing somebody at the moment, you probably shouldn't come out and talk about with your ex. However, if your ex asks you, don't lie and say you're single if you're really not. All this will do is create more friction when the truth comes out.
- Use social networking websites such as Facebook or MySpace if you no longer have your ex's contact information. You can also ask a mutual friend.