How to Recover From Relationship Break-ups

How to survive a break up.How to survive a break up.

Recovering from a relationship break-up is one of the most painful experiences in life. Be patient with yourself as you need to allow yourself to go through a grieving process. Surround yourself with supportive people and pamper yourself during this difficult time. Learn what you can about yourself from the relationship and re-focus on developing new goals to achieve. Know that as painful as break-ups are, you can become a stronger and wiser person and be more prepared for a new, healthy relationship in the future.

Give yourself permission to grieve. Whether you were together with your partner for a short time or for years, you are experiencing a loss, and you need to go through a grieving process. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. It doesn't matter if it was a good relationship or unhealthy one, you will still go through a grieving process, however, it will get easier and hurt less over time.

Develop a support network of family member and friends. You need someone to talk to when you are going through a painful experience. Plan to go out with friends to do things you normally enjoy such as shopping, dinner, manicures or movies. Don't hesitate to call on people you are comfortable sharing with and that you feel you can trust. Write in a journal so that you can express all your thoughts and feelings. Get out all the anger, sadness and disappointment.

Resist any contact or any kind of communication with your ex. Break-ups are hard enough to go through, as it is, but when you keep talking to the person or seeing them, it makes it even more difficult to heal and move forward in your life. This is especially true if she is a smooth talker and may convince you to get back together when you know it was not a healthy relationship for you.

Sit down and develop new short and long term goals for yourself. Redirect your attention on pursuing your dreams whether they be educational, career-related, traveling or learning a new skill or a different language. Sign up for that cooking class you've always wanted to take or join Toastmasters to regain your confidence. Avoid jumping into any new relationships until you have had plenty of time to heal and process the loss. Always take your time getting to know someone by just being friends with them for as long as possible so that you get to know their true character before moving up to a romantic relationship.

Learn what you can from the relationship about yourself, about men in general and about women in general. Ask yourself what you would do differently in the next relationship. Figure out what needs weren't met in this relationship and what needs you want met next time. If this was an unhealthy relationship, seek to increase your self-esteem so that you never settle for anyone who doesn't treat you with love and respect again. See a counselor when necessary.

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  • When you want to give your friends and family members a break, consider joining an online community support group or chat room for those going through the end of a relationship. No one understands better than someone who is going through the same experience.


  • If you have left an abusive relationship, ensure your safety by not letting your ex know where you are residing, even if that means staying at a shelter temporarily. Abusive partners are the most violent when their partner leaves them. Seek professional counseling. Call a local women's shelter to speak to someone. They typically have a crisis line that you can call any time, night or day.

About the Author

Dawn Sutton began her writing career in 2004 with an article on Internet counseling for a psychology journal. She writes numerous Internet articles on a variety of subjects including health, travel, education, crafts and much more. Sutton has published the books "The Manual" and "God's Girl" and numerous feature film scripts. She has a master's degree in social work from the University of Toronto.

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