How to Be Romantic When You Aren't Romantic

Being playful together is romantic.Being playful together is romantic.

Not everyone is a born romantic, but the good news is that with a little effort, you can learn to put more romance into your relationship. Taking the time to create romance is key to a fulfilling love life, according author and psychotherapist Barry Goldsmith in a Psychology Today article. Even if you're convinced that you're romantically challenged, keep in mind that romance simply means letting someone know just how much you care.

Step 1

Listen to what your partner says and be willing to open up about your own thoughts and feelings. Communication will help you to learn what your partner wants from the relationship and how you can be more demonstrative with romantic gestures that she appreciates.

Step 2

Offer your partner spontaneous compliments. Make an effort to notice the little things and be attentive when your partner makes an effort to look nice. A statement as simple as "You look beautiful" can go a very long way.

Step 3

Leave love notes for your partner. For example, write, "I love you" in steam on the bathroom mirror. Leave a sticky note saying the same thing on the milk container in the refrigerator. Make a card expressing your love and tuck it inside the bag he carries to work.

Step 4

Surprise your partner with an expression of your love when she least expects it. For instance, if she's flying on a plane alone, arrange to have the flight attendant bring her a gift from you -- even if it's just a single rose.

Step 5

Cook your partner's favorite meal. While an elegant restaurant can create a romantic mood, taking the time to prepare your partner's favorite dish and arranging a candlelit dinner at home for just the two of you is a perfect way to be romantic. Your partner will likely appreciate the extra effort.

Step 6

Show your partner affection when you're together. This can come in the form of small kisses, random hugs or cuddling while you're watching TV together. Also, don't be afraid of public displays of affection. Hold her hand and give her a hug in public so everyone can see how much you care.

Step 7

Plan and pay for a spontaneous romantic getaway. Book a weekend when you're both free at a nice hotel. Make a pack to spend time just focusing on each other, discussing your hopes and dreams without mentioning bills, problems or worries.

Step 8

Help your partner relax after a stressful day. Run a bath and light some candles and incense. Offer a relaxing massage with warm oil after the bath to help ease her mind.

Step 9

Come right out and say, "I love you" at least once a day. Your partner wants to hear these words -- and they can help him feel good about your life together.

Step 10

Make time to be intimate with your partner. Without intimacy, a couple may begin to feel more like friends or even just roommates. Lovemaking doesn't always need to be spontaneous, but it shouldn't a chore or something that you rush.

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  • Don't smother your partner with a constant showing of affection. Instead, incorporate it in small doses into your everyday life.
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