What to Say When You Flirt With a Girl

Enjoy yourself when you flirt and she will often respond.Enjoy yourself when you flirt and she will often respond.

Finding the right thing to say when talking to a girl can often be confusing and difficult. For some men it comes very naturally, and for others it takes lots of effort and time to get into the right mind-set. There are many different ways to approach the situation, but there are a few things which remain universal. The initial conversation may lead to a relationship down the line, or it may lead to nothing at all. Even if it does lead to nothing, try to stay collected and enjoy yourself.

Remain confident. This is the most important thing when making your first impression on a girl you are interested in. You should not be overbearing in your confidence (don't be aggressive), but don't lapse into sincere self-deprecation either. Don't doubt yourself too heavily while speaking with her, or she will become uncertain as well. At all times the girl you are talking to should get the impression that you want to be talking to her and are comfortable doing so. Smile as much as possible during the conversation.


Keep things conversational. Much of the attraction lies in compatibility, and if conversation veers quickly into silence or a discussion that she is clearly uninterested in, then things will sour. Don't hammer her with details about your job. You should mention it if it is raised, but don't equate yourself simply to your job. Allow her to speak about what she wants to, and be attentive. Insert opinions, acknowledgments, and personal anecdotes within the flow of the conversation. Listen for gaps in which you can express your own views, but make sure not to interrupt. If conversation begins to slow, be sure to ask questions and remember that you are surrounded by things to talk about. Use your surroundings as conversation pieces. This is usually a good way to begin the conversation. Make sure to maintain eye contact.

Maintain the flow

Compliment her on something which can be used as a conversation piece. Generally, it is a good idea to find an appropriate place within the conversation to insert a compliment. If she mentions her career, accomplishments, interests, hair, make-up, or outfit, compliment her on it as it arises in the conversation. This will keep things moving naturally without you hurling compliments blindly at her. It is a good idea to compliment her appearance after you have established an initial rapport and have begun to feel more comfortable together; otherwise these statements may come off as predatory.


Don't take the conversation too deep too fast. You will have plenty of time to reveal your deep thoughts if the relationship moves forward. In the meantime, have fun and keep it light. Keep her laughing and invite her to share her humorous stories. Laugh with your eyes and your voice.

Light and Humorous

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About the Author

Mike Huguenor is a writer and musician from San Jose, Calif. He holds a B.A. in philosophy and literature from University of California, Santa Cruz. Specializing in literature, music and art, Huguenor has contributed to the "South Boston Literary Gazette" and the "California Undergraduate Philosophy Review."

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