Pick a good time to begin sharing your feelings with your partner. While cleaning, loud times at home, shopping at busy stores or at the end of a stressful day at work are not good times. Seek a peaceful time. Share your feelings while relaxing before bedtime, lounging on the couch or during dinner.
Choose your words carefully. Placing blame and judging your partner will start an argument. Starting an argument will not help you and your partner share feelings healthily. You may feel your partner is to blame for your negative feelings, but accusing her aggressively will cause her to become defensive. Say "I feel so frustrated when this happens, and I would be happy if you could help me" instead of "You make me so mad because you never help me."
Listen to the feelings your partner expresses. Show you are listening by maintaining eye contact and keeping physical touch. Gaze into her eyes and rub her arm, or hold her hand. Nod at the appropriate times.
Understand the feelings your partner shares. Think carefully about how your partner feels, and tell her "I understand." Letting her know she is understood will make her feel open to sharing feelings. She will feel understood, loved and nurtured.
Share your feelings with your partner. Remember, your partner is not a mind reader, so she will need to hear your feelings to understand you. Honestly and openly express your feelings to your partner. Tell her your feelings of love, faith and trust. If you are feeling neglected and frustrated, share that fact with her.
- Some people have trouble opening their hearts and expressing their feelings. Do not become discouraged if your partner is unable to share feelings.
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