Is He Shy or Just Not Interested?

A woman smiles while standing very close to a man outside.A woman smiles while standing very close to a man outside.

A single woman doesn’t have it easy when it comes to the opposite sex. If she opts not to pursue a man she is interested in, she has to wonder whether he is interested in her and wait for him to take action. If the man is sending mixed signals, it can be difficult to determine whether his behavior stems from a lack of interest or from being shy. Women should learn how men act when they are interested so they don’t waste time on a man who may simply be playing games.

Body Language

A woman smiles at a table in a coffeehouse.

Even when a man doesn’t verbally express his interest in you, his body language gives him away. He stands with his body pointed toward you or slightly tilts his head when talking to you. His attention is on you rather than on something or someone else in the room. He may push your hair out of your eyes as an excuse to touch you or he may stroke his own face, which indicates a desire to touch you. You can also tell he is interested if he steals glances at you from across a room. If he fidgets while sitting or standing, or his interest wanders around the room, he isn’t really interested in you.


An apprehensive woman uses her cell phone in her apartment.

If you rarely hear from a man, or you only communicate when you take the initiative, he’s not interested. A man who likes a woman seeks her out, even if he’s too shy to admit he likes her. He may always sit at your table during lunch if you work together. He constantly finds reasons to call, text, or email you if you’re already friends.

Attention and Interest

A couple having a conversation at an outdoor market.

An interested man pays attention to you and is interested in everything you have to say. He asks questions about your life and your family because he wants to know more about you. A man who is not interested is self-centered and talks mostly about himself. A man who doesn’t attempt to contact you or who communicates primarily by text or email is not interested.


A man and woman laugh together in a scenic spot by the water.

It’s natural for a man to want to spend time with a woman he likes and normally this means a date. If a man is shy, he will have a hard time asking out the woman he likes. However, if you suspect that he is interested, you can give him encouragement by the things you say, the way you look at him, and the way you smile. If he is interested in you, he will ask you out on a date. He’s not interested if he still doesn’t ask you out after you have given him positive feedback.

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About the Author

Cynthia Tucker has been writing since 1999. She owns a company that specializes in ghostwriting and editing services. She writes on topics such as finance, fitness, relationships, self-help, and spirituality. Tucker holds a Master of Arts in Biblical studies from Saint Pete Theological Seminary, and a Bachelor of Arts in English from the University of South Florida.

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